To not want DH to go away for a weekend

[MrsGravy]

DC3 is 4 weeks old and DH wants to go away next weekend - Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon. It's an old friend's 40th - they used to be close but don't see each other loads any more.

I've been coping ok with 3 - the baby is pretty good but does need a lot of carrying and breastfeeding still. She only wakes up once in the night most nights though.

I find I manage ok in the day but this time of the evening I'm utterly exhausted. The thought of coping with the three of them over night on my own is really intimidating. The thought actually makes me want to cry!!

DH is a very hands-on dad, doesn't go out a huge amount and certainly 'deserves' a weekend away - I'd have no objection further down the line.

I'll probably say I'm ok with him going anyway as I don't want to be responsible for making him miserable but I dread the thought of next weekend already....

Tricky one. I don't think YABU at all, but on the other hand it would be nice if you could figure out a way to make it work for both of you.

Can you (or he) arrange for someone else (relative? friend?) to come and help you for some or all of the weekend? Or could a friend take the older ones off your hands for a few hours...

Could you pay for an agency nanny/babysitter to do a day or a few hours? Or a cleaner if that would help?

Could he go for some, not all, of the weekend?

Can you ask a friend to stay with you for help/company?

Agree with mini. Great suggestions there.

I would feel the same. You sound like a very reasonable person. Tell him how you feel just as you have above, word for word. You want him to have fun, so just find a middle ground somewhere.

Good luck!

Unfortunately family circumstances mean I just can't ask my parents to help out at the moment...and I can't think of anyone else I'd feel comfortable asking. The weekend away is too far for him to just go for part of it.

Thanks though minipie, I agree a compromise of some sort would be ideal.

hmmm (thinking cap on noise).

It doesn't necessarily have to be someone you would ask for the whole weekend, or to stay over.

Just someone who can come and play with the older two for 2-3 hours each day, and/or help you get laundry done etc, would still make quite a big difference.

Alternatively, could DH take a day off work before the weekend to help you get ahead for the weekend (laundry done, place tidied, stocked with food, etc)?

I (sort of) know how you feel...
My DP went on a weekend away, a proper weekedn, fri afternoon to Mon evening, when DD was 12 weeks. Our first child. I spent weeks dreading it and worrying i wouldn't be able to cope on my own, but it was OK really.

We made lots of plans to meet up with friends druing the days, and one of my girlfriends came and had a chinese with me one night.

My thought was that if i was incredibly sweet and understanding about it, I would have a loooong girls weekend in the bank for a few months down the line when i'd finished bf and was ready to get very drunk!