To be upset that DD hasn't won an award

[earthworm]

Think IABU but require confirmation.

DD is in Y6 at a state primary that, every year, hold an awards ceremony during the last week of term.

About 20 children (out of about 100 in year group) receive awards, and their parents receive letters by post inviting them to attend.

The letter tells them to keep the invite a secret so that their children will be delighted on the day, but inevitably people can't resist having a little boast when they receive their letter and the rest of us then feel a bit rubbish.

The awards are for academic stuff, sport, music, art, attendance, trying hard etc.

DD is lovely and we always get good comments at parents evening, but she doesn't stand out or excel at anything and I had hoped that she might receive some recognition in one of the less academic awards.

She has now got wind of it all via a friend and is saying that she is rubbish at everything, that the same people always win everything so there's no point even trying etc.

I know that most children haven't won anything, and am not suggesting prizes for everyone or anything like that, but still feel a bit sad and like I want to poke her teacher in the eye if only that were socially acceptable.

IABU aren't I?

Disagree with zazen...I think if someone has gone the extra mile- and I'm not talking being a genius at maths- but someone who has put in effort and though determination has achieved, they should be recognised.
Implementing a charity initiative, being reliable, -doesn't need to be academic.
The academic children know they're the best- it's the others, who would never be in the top 5 in the class, but put the effort in.
I like being recognised at work- not for doing my job as that's what I'm paid to do- but doing things outside of my remit etc.

YANBU DCs primary school does awards for year 6, it has been suggest in the past that all pupils get one. However most children just get a certificate, some get one or more cups, and a fortunate few get special awards. My DS got a book token for "endeavour" from the SEN teacher, which was great. We are working on the basis that DD1 will get none. We can guess that some certain children will get more than one (this is the golden group who seem to do everything).
At least at the senior school it is only ever a small group, who achieve the highest grades or represent the school at sports. No one there pretends they recognise everyones achievements. (And it is also unlikely anyone will achieve several awards either.)

I hate prizes - and used to win them all the time in primary.

I would use the opportunity to explain to your dd that it is irrelevant how she is compared to this completely arbitrary and somewhat random group of people - that in fact what matters is how she has done relative to herself. And that if she has worked hard and learnt a lot, then that is brilliant and what matters.

totally agree with every word you said zaren x

YABlittleU but totally understandable. Good advice on here. Try not to let her know you give a damn.

Yr 3 was 'Star of the week' every week. So 39 weeks and 30 in the class you would think that they gave every child the 'Star' at least once but no, DD never got it. I used to tell her she was my Star of the Week. Her friend got one for getting on better with other kids. I told DD she should hit a few then stop. OJ of course .

Next was Yr 6 'Wonder of the week' every week same thing DD had to wait until the very last week of primary to get 'Wonder', she was so chuffed. I suspect it was more thanks to external examiners of Key stage 2 SATS rather than the teacher as she was quiet and unassuming in class.

yanbu
dd's school have prize giving(ok they dress it up but that is what it is)
ffs it is an SN school!!!
I hate it
this year

In high school, we (as in me and my sisters) used to get several awards each year, and were a bit bored by it all. Certainly didn't motivate us, just annoyed us that we had to go up and shake hands with some old man and get a certificate. We did have a bit of respect for the academic award (best all-rounder) but I'm afraid we looked down on the people who got only 100% attendance with no other awards. (we were scornful that they didn't have the inititive to invent an illness for a day or two off, and that they had turned up every day, yet still not got any top grades).
Not proud of it, but I had a bit of a snobbery thing at school...

I remember being up in arms that I got a detention for being late and wearing incorrect uniform to pick up my awards one year, and I tried to not go to the very last one when I was 16 and was only bribed with money and the promise of being able to g out afterwards to the rock club.

God, I was an arse!