I know this subject is done often and provokes controversy. I am genuinely trying to decide what to do and trying not to be rude.
Dh and I have been invited to a wedding. The dcs (all aged under 6 years) are invited just to the evening reception which begins at their usual bedtime, but we as a couple are invited to the service and main reception too.
Our dcs are 5, 3 and baby who will by then be 9 months and breastfed. My experience with my others is that I can expect baby still to be feeding every 2-3hrs at that stage and just hitting the separation anxiety phase. I am her fulltime carer and there are no local family or friends she knows well enough who could take her. I am trying to decide whether it would be rude to ask whether it would be ok for her to accompany me and dh to the service and reception?
She would not need food or a seat (we are happy to feed on our laps, no highchair needed), but will probably be crawling by then. There are likely to be close family children at the wedding, so it's not likely to be totally child-free. The bride is dc1's godmother and we have known her over a decade. We are very excited about the happy event and would love to attend. It would also feel funny going to the evening do not having been to the service itself. However, I feel are options (that are right for us and the baby) are not to go at all, or either just attend in the evening, dh attend the whole thing and me and kids join for the evening, or ask if it is OK to take the baby with us and get other kids for the evening. The invite is v clear and polite with separate invites for us and for the 3 dcs, with a little note explaining that there are space limitations so they can't be accommodated at the main bits.
So, AIBU to ask if it's OK for us to take the baby? Or should we just decide whether dh goes alone or we all go to the evening and forget any chance of me attending the service, or just not go at all because actually the dcs may be a bit tired in the evening ?