Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to deduce from my reading of MN that SILs are generally more barking than MILs?

53 replies

Katisha · 09/07/2010 13:36

SILs and MILs.
The SILs seem to be harder to cope with than the MILs I'd say. Am I right?

OP posts:
BarmyArmy · 09/07/2010 14:44

A question for you - are your BILs and FILs rated similarly?

maryqueenofyachts · 09/07/2010 14:46

BILs and FIL no problem at all! Almost forget they even exist as 'in-laws' as the female contingent make so much noise.

MillieMummy · 09/07/2010 14:48

MIL and one SIL are mad, used to get on with that SIL but she is picking up all of her mother's mad ideas.

One SIL is an angel and I love her and often joke to DP that I should have married her!

DB's wife is becoming the worst though - she knows my parents better than I do (aparently) - and is a SAHM whilst I am an evil working mum.

Family hey !

Dinkytinky · 09/07/2010 14:52

No SIL for me- but my BIL?!?! oh my gosh, hates literally everything bout me and loudly says things like 'women who wear high heels and perfume are idiots who are covering up the fact ther are completely vapid...anyone born on a council estate are Chav morons...' he even pushed me off a curb and tore my ligaments in ankle to 'prove heels are dangerous'
sooo glad he lives in Germany lol!

MiL means well but irritates the shite out of me, and has apron strings wrapped around DH's neck!

BarmyArmy · 09/07/2010 14:56

maryqueenofyachts - interesting.

EldritchCleavage · 09/07/2010 15:51

My SIL is like susie100. I wouldn't care but my DH gets so hurt. He is trying not to have nay contact but she pops up every now and again. My MIL was ok.

EldritchCleavage · 09/07/2010 15:52

Sorry, I meant to say, 'is like susie100's SIl'. Apologies!

TheInvisibleManDidIt · 09/07/2010 15:57

Love my Fil to bits!

Dh has no brothers but get on fine with Sil's dh.

Sisters DH is ok. Don't really seem him very often so don't know him that well.

susitwoshoes · 09/07/2010 16:01

MIL is fine, if a bit Daily Mail. Over the moon that the Cons won the election. DP and I were slightly lost for words (though mine returned pretty promptly).

SIL lives on the other side of the world, stayed with her when I was travelling, lovely and friendly and welcoming. Prob a bit mad in a good way.

BIL is laid-back semi-slacker. Everyone gets on with him! (are those hyphens right? They look kind of wrong)

wetnoodle · 09/07/2010 16:20

SIL is very sweet.

MIL is great although spending a lot of time with her recently has made me realise where DH gets some of his annoying quirkier traits from.

BIL (SIL's DH) on the other hand is a complete numpty. There isn't a person on this planet who annoys me as much as he does. We all recently went on holiday together and it was all I could do to stop myself punching him in the face - he's very patronising.

GetOrfMoiLand · 09/07/2010 16:22

Mil is lovely

I have 4 sils - 1 of them is DP's sister, the other 3 are married to DP's brothers.

DP's sister - a know it all. Can't bear her.

One SIL is an absolte star - one of my best friends.

The other two are completely weird and I don't get them at all.

claire70 · 09/07/2010 16:24

Which kind of SIL do you mean? Would def agree about brother's wife. Why on earth did he pick one like her???
Not so sure about Dh's sisters.

snickersnack · 09/07/2010 16:28

I have a slightly mad and very high maintenance SIL but i don't actually dislike her. My other brother's wife is nice but I see them v rarely as they live overseas

My ex SIL (BIL's ex) was vile on every level. My lovely SIL (dh's sister) and I used to hide in the pantry to hide from her.

I love my MIL.

Lexilicious · 09/07/2010 16:56

DH and I both have brothers.

My BIL's wife is very nice in my experience but I've only met her a few times, about 5 I would say. This is because she has refused in recent years to spend any time with my DH's family and BIL goes along with it because he is apparently a doormat his loyalties are now to his wife, not his mother (as we say on 'stick up for me' threads). In fact she wrote a 9 page letter to my MIL detailing all the evils done and slights directed at her (in her own mind I am told). PILs were hurt by this but me having their first gc has taken the heat off the BIL and SIL so things seem to have eased. I'm not taking any credit btw, it just might be a factor. Perhaps the SIL was convinced there was some sort of pressure and she wanted to maintain boundaries. Oh but they eloped in some exotic location and apparently she is very high maintenance. Really this is all from DH, I hardly know her, but DH is very fair and not at all judgey so I believe him.

My brother is 23 and has been with his GF for about 18 months, she's about 19/20 ish and very sweet, just a little short of finer manners and joining in with family stuff like the washing up at Christmas and engaging in conversation with the oldies. She's just a bit sheltered I think, always had things done for her and is used to quite a hausfrau sort of mother. She's not precious, just a bit oblivious to the tiny social graces that grease the domestic wheels. She'll get it - my parents pointed something out to my brother that she had/hadn't done, he somehow suggested things to her and the next time there was a similar opportunity she was mucking right in, no issues whatsoever.

My MIL and FIL are fine. I don't have much in common with them, or maybe in fact I do have too much in common... FIL was a central government civil servant like me, and every couple of months he asks what grade I am. He's never told me what grade he was but I am pretty sure he ended his career where I am now. I am inversely embarrassed by this. They are Daily Mail readers to the point of being so conditioned by it that any discussion remotely influenced by current affairs comes out in a painful series of cliches lifted straight from the rabid somewhat right-of-centre lexicon of what DH calls the Daily Heil. It pains me to spend time alone with MIL as she has nothing whatsoever to say (it seems) - it is a particular sort of middle-aged woman decline into low self esteem, shyness, or something. She hovers and fusses which annoys me but she's not opinionated or bossy which would be 100 times worse (I gather, from MN...).

ShadeofViolet · 09/07/2010 17:18

My brothers wife has a severe case of 'opens-mouth-before-speaking-itis'. She has poor social skills but she is very sweey though hen she isnt putting her size nines in her mouth.

DH's brothers wife is sweet and I wonder how she puts up with BIL who is the biggest, wimpiest Mummy's boy I have ever met.

Violet5 · 09/07/2010 17:23

Agree with OP

My MIL is lovely and my husbands sister is lovely too, my other SIL doesn't like or speak to me, she's got some issues and some growing up to do i think because it's a shame for the children who are cousins

LittleWhiteWolf · 09/07/2010 17:25

I have no brothers (just a lovely sister and lovely BIL so lucky there!) but DH has two brothers and two sisters, ranging from 2 to 19. Eldest SIL is 19 and she was a bridesmaid at my wedding and we get on great. We had our ups and downs back when she was 15 and pg and in hindsight we were very hard on her, but she now sees it all came from a loving place. We were there for her more than anyone when her relationship broke down and she became a single parent and she knows we'd always be there for her. Sadly she's now gotten engaged to a comeplete arsehole who neither DH nor I like (but we're being nice, promise!)

Other SIL is only 10 and very sweet, but its not a 'normal' SIL relationship I think, as I'm more like an older sister or parent figure to her. But shes nice so I can't complain.

Mil is lovely,too, so I've been lucky.

PortiaNovmerriment · 09/07/2010 17:30

I get on great with DP's parents and brothers and sisters. All their partners though are a bit weird in one respect or other.

I can only assume that I must also be a bit odd.

LunaticFringe · 09/07/2010 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Floopy21 · 09/07/2010 20:42

My SIL is hard work, MIL is lovely.

jillhastwoponies · 09/07/2010 20:48

Oh, my sister in law is hell, boasts all the time, snogs her boyfriend constantly in public (and she is mid 50s, yuck) always goes on and on about how every man fancies her, and every woman is jealous of her as soon as she walks into the room, because she knows she could take their husbands off them with ease...she looks like a wizened old crone, with granny hair...

poppy34 · 09/07/2010 20:51

Mil ok ( certainly no more hard work than my mum) have one lovely sil and one loony one although loon does give me hours of fun as mil has fallen out with her big time.

claire70 · 12/07/2010 09:09

jillhastwoponies - I think I know you SIL! Does she also wear her teenage duaghter's ultra-tight, ultra-short clothes?

thesecondcoming · 12/07/2010 09:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBadger · 12/07/2010 09:48

I think it's because everyone expects MILs to be nuts so cuts them more slack
but SILs are meant to be normal so we have higher standards