to think that 'i'm too hot' is a crap excuse for not having sex?

[GoodDaysBadDays]

This coming from the man who once drove a six hour round trip in an afternoon when working away just to come and have sex!

I know we've been together 11 years, have 4 dc's (one only a year) and he works long hours and don't expect it that often but it's a crap excuse!

We do have sex, and it's fantastic, it's the one area we're really good together but there's a lot of the time we don't because dh is tired or now hot

Is it a crap excuse or AIBU?

I don't like hot sex.

Whoops I mean I don't like sex when it's too hot. Obviously I DO like hot sex!

YABU if you're feeling like he has to justify to you why he doesn't want sex and that reason has to be something you think is reasonable.

He doesn't feel like having sex.

If he never does or if it's upsetting you, then talk to him about how you're feeling.

Open the bedroom window

YANBU its a shit excuse.

was just chuckling about your choice of wording!

Fair enough, but have you always felt like that? Never heard him complain about the temperature before!

sorry last post was to doig

there is no such thing as a crap excuse not to want to have sex. If you're not in the mood, you're under no obligation to provide an acceptable 'excuse'

If this was the other way round, and you were complaining that your DH stropped up because you didn't fancy sex when you were all hot and uncomfortable, you'd rather correctly, have lots of MN calling your DH a twat.

If he doesn't fancy sex when it's hot, he doesn't want sex.

As it's due to his 31 degrees in parts of the UK today, can I suggest you run him a cool bath/send him for a cool shower early evening and try and seduce him earlier in the evening before he's too tired?

YABU. "I don't want to" Should be enough. He shouldn't feel he needs an excuse.

I hate sex when it is hot at night too. I get annoyed when any part of DHs body touches me when I am hot never mind the whole thing!

But if he is off sex a lot recently you might need to talk about it - if it is just one excuse after another I mean.

But it is not a crap excuse at all, if you are too hot already why would you want to get even hotter?

Maybe it's not an excuse - maybe he is to hot to have sex.

YABU, by the way.

According to the Kinsey report
Every average man you know
Much prefers his lovey dovey to court
When the temperature drops right low
But when the temperature goes way up
And the weather is sizzling hot
Mr Pants for romance is not
Chorus: Too darn hot

it's too daaarn hot

Unless he he "making excuses" each and every time, which isnt the case as you've already said you have a good sex life then it's not an excuse. It's a reason why he is not in the mood.
Or maybe he just didnt fancy it, but felt he had to give you a reason.

Thanks lady

Hecate what you said is right and sensible but it's just not him.

I am fed up with the way our sex life is and have spoken to him but dh doesn't talk. He's not that kind of guy.

He's a man's man who's a bit rough and tough, can be a bit of a sod, (good picture i'm painting here ) and sex is the centre of our relationship.

I don't get romance and gentleness but I do get lots of fabulous sex

'I'm too hot' therefore feels like a massive rejection!

Tell him better hot sex when you can throw the covers off than 'cold sex' - it's going to be -7 in parts of NZ tonight and DH is p**d off with me saying no it's too cold without the duvet wrapped around me as he gets amorous and waves the duvet about letting the cold in. None of the houses here have heating and it really is poxy freezing. You hardly feel sexy in PJs, hot water hottle, multiple divets etc...

So 'hot sex' sounds great to me .

If sex is at the "centre of your relationship" then why badger him if he doesn't fancy it on the odd occasion? Be thankful for what you have and don't guilt trip him into doing it under duress

Agree with everyone else. If he doesn't want to then that should be reason enough.

Ok, point taken

Thanks for the perspective