TEACHERS AIBU?

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Mums who are teachers, AIBU?

In September I will be going back to teaching 3 days a week, leaving my 2 DS's 6months and 2.7 years twice a week with my parents and once a week at nursery.

I went back part time after my first DS was born and it was ok but I questioned then just how ideal teaching and bringing up a young family was. The stress levels in my school can be high, although I was always home by 5 and the hols were great.

AIBU to be thinking of doing something else?? My sister works part time for an airline. She is away from home 6 days a month but they are always weekends and she can take her LO to school everyday etc. She pays nothing for childcare as a result. I am considering joining her but my DH thinks I am mad giving up a well paid role etc etc

WDYT?

judytzuke how did you manage when your LO's were tiny?? Or even harder when they went to school??

i am a teacher and didn't want to go back after the baby was born so I am now a One to One tutor.£25 per hour for however many hours I want.Perfect for keeping the wolf from the door.

Is the work regular though dexifehatz??

Dexi DH suggested I do something similar, I just can't see it being regular here.

On the grounds that it was not in the interest of the pupils.

Oh I wish I hadn't opened this thread! I am waiting to hear if I have got on a secondary PGCE course in September and have 2 under 5's!

As a wife of a teacher: there are significant benefits for us (mainly that he can cover holidays), but they only work when alongside the benefits of my job (part time hours to cover one end of the school run, more flexibilty in term time).

It is a real issue that he cannot take time off during term. Ever.

Is there a role out of class? PPA cover, specialist groups? Although I suppose that everyone's budgets are being cut to shit.

Is supply an option?

I know it is so hard when the children are young - but you do need to look long term. The children are home only for such a short period of time, if it is a job you otherwise enjoy, then I would think long and hard before jumping ship.

All too soon your children will be at school and if you go for the airline job - then you will have the days off when they are at school, but when your children are home - you will be at work. Is that something you really want?

My children are now 6 and 3, and DD2 is at pre school for most of the time I work. I'm now beginning to see the payback for sticking through the stressful early years, and now I'm starting to see that actually it will work quite nicely (I also work part time). You will have the particular advantage that you will have your parents to do the pick ups twice a week. I have this once a week, and that makes a huge difference!
Its tempting to find something else, but would you enjoy it as much in the long term? That for me would be a huge question.

I hoped that Helokitty, my dd is now 10 and I am still feeling as if she needs me but I am always working.

I was a teacher for 12 years. I went back full-time after DD and 4 days after DS. I was head of faculty but increasingly realised my heart wasn't in it. For me it wasn't really the stress it was the marking. I decided to leave to retrain. We made our mortgage interest only and I went back to university. A year on I have decided that I don't want to do either but the year out has been invaluable for telling us that we can live much more frugally and can be more creative about our career choices. I have now decided to go for my dream job which pays less than half of what I was earning in teaching but which I will actually love. Being happy in my work and bringing in enough to keep us afloat but on a much reduced expenditure is more important. Until I can get my new job I am doing supply at my old school and getting £70 for an afternoon's work.

The key is to take a long hard look at exactly how much you need to earn to cover the basics. It is probably less than you think. Then choose something that you REALLY want to do because job satisfaction is going to improve your whole life. Do you really want to do airline work or does it just seem more practical? Would you be happy to only pick up/drop off some days if the job you were going to makes you happy?

IMO teaching is a great job but one that has a limited lifespan. If your heart's not in it then it's time to go, but take your time and choose something that you can see yourself doing for years to come.

I'm a mum who is a part-time teacher, DH is a dad who is a part-time teacher - we each work 4 days a week and have one day off with DD2 (13 months). DD1 is at school (she's 5.5).

For us, teaching and being parents is pretty much the best of both worlds; we both have jobs we love which are reasonably secure and come with sensible pay and lots of non-contact time (holidays if you prefer but we spend a lot of them doing work-related things). Until DD1 was 4 she attended the children's centre adjacent to my school 3 days a week - it was a fantastic arrangement and was flexible enough that they would often take her when one of us was away on a school journey/had INSET to attend on our day off. I changed schools and since I returned to work from maternity leave we've had a nanny (shared with friends). She's been fantastic and has meant that our children are cared for together and in our home before/after school which we felt was important for DD1. Having a nanny has made all the difference this time round as it means that I can leave for work a bit earlier and get more done before the school day starts. Since having the girls I've always worked during my lunchtime and am much more efficient than I used to be in terms of getting on with things and also prioritising.

When I changed schools I dropped my TLR and became a PPA/TLR cover teacher. Whilst it's been a great experience for working with age groups I wouldn't usually volunteer for (anything under the age of about 8!) it has been more stressful than being a Y6 teacher in a rough, 'failing' school which was under constant pressure from the LA. In September I will be a class teacher again and I can hardly wait as I will know exactly what I'm doing and when instead of being at the mercy of disorganised teachers with messy classrooms.

I think if I was in your position I'd be very strict about timetabling my family time and work time e.g. no school work until 7pm when DCs are in bed. Looking at how much you need to get done which is actually essential and those things that are less so may help too - do you have to back/mount work for display or would it be more efficient to train up some Y6s to help? Instead of spending hours creating pages of calculations for children to solve why not buy a framework-referenced book that has done that for you (Target Maths/maths on target is my favourite)?

Teaching is a fab job but it can consume your life if you let it. Try leaving more of it at school from September i.e. don't bring books home to mark - do them with the children as you work with them (I do every child's literacy and numeracy book once a week in this way and it's much more informative than distance marking) and remember that if you are paid 0.6 you only need attend 0.6 of the staff meetings etc.

YANBU to consider it but may I put accross another POW here..

I work 2/3 weekends a month so am away from my family for 4 or 6 days.. I know its great for the kids to get time w daddy and its great for us to not have any childcare issues before when i worked evenings it caused issues and friktion..

However I rarely see my husband one of us is always tired from work and we close to never have family time where we have time to just sit together and be.

Its a trade off as a teacher you have tough weeks yes but time with the kids and dh at weekends working weekends you get time with the kids but family time and time w dh disapears.

its never straight forward and simple. Its hard to juggle and we do need time to be us as a family

Marking in lessons may be possible for some teachers and some activities. Tonight I have been marking essays, that is just not possible when you are teaching.

Very few people in secondary schools have children's centres next door.

I do try to not work while dd is awake, tonight I have made time to do thinks with her and started working again at about half eight. ( I was at work until 6pm and arrived at half seven this morning) But that means it is now half twelve and I am still going. I am knackered so going to bed in a second knowing I will have to be up at about half five to get in an hour of work before setting off.

I just don't want to do that anymore.

Totally agree with SE13 mummy. Some very good advice there

Never, ever, ever give up teaching to work for an airline (unless you became BA's next CEO, who earns £70,000 a month). It was a great job many years ago, with prospects of a career. Now it's minimum-wage, no-career, no rewards.

it's not just when they're pre-school - in fact, i found that bit easy.

once they start school, you need to find before & after school care. you will not, ever be able to attend their parent 'evenings' at 4 pm, or see the nativity play at 11 am, or go to the book fare at .... you get the picture. and if you're not at the school gates, and don't know the other mums, your kids won't be invited to parties or play dates, as no-one knows who you are to ask you. and you won't get all the notices, and you will be expected to produce a fancy dress costume at 0 days notice. there is just an assumption in many primaries that MUM (not dad, not a nanny) is around to do things to help out.

i survived 4 years with dd in nursery & although stressed & tired, i coped. once she started school i felt so left out & marginalised, i cracked & went pt (.84) even that nearly killed me.

the holidays help, and if you were in the forces, you would find it even less family friendly. BUT it is hard work.

the good thing was, dh was able to step in for a lot of things, as although he has a 'high powered job' it was far more flexible than teaching was.

in the meantime, you might be better off paying for a cleaner/gardener/ironing than switching jobs. if you're home 2 days a week, you will be around for your dc's a lot, and the cost of childcare in the summer is huge, with the stress of finding somewhere good.

I have 3 dc's - 9,7 and 2, and I work P/T 3 days per week teaching primary. I have found it a complete and utterly exhausting and unpleasant struggle, and I am leaving my school when we finish for the year (due to moving house) and I can't wait! I have a 9 month grace period before I have to decide what to do next.
What I find disturbing is how many of us find it unworkable. It just doesn't seem right that teaching should only be for those who are childless.

Kickass - your experiences are true of someone who works full time, but not necessarily someone who works part time.

As a secondary teacher, I work part time and mostly mornings. I therefore get to do most of the school pick ups and as most of my DD's school events are in the afternoons, I tend not to miss those either. However, I work less than .84, which must be practically full time!

Depending on whether the OP is primary or secondary - there may be more flexibility in the future (I understand this is far less in primary), and then I use the afternoons when my DDs are at school / preschool to plan, I stop again when I collect them, and start again when they go to bed.

However, I think it totally depends on how flexible the head is.

Good advice on the cleaner btw!

I totally agree. I'm a teacher and married to one, and at the moment on Maternity leave.It will be up in a year's time and I'm dreading going back (in Australia I can have up to three years leave). Teaching really is a vocation, I've realised after nearly 20 years that it is a job that requires a great deal of emotional energy, and when you have kids at home, it is hard to muster up enough energy for everyone.

We've also changed our mortgage to interest only so that I didn't have to rush back to teaching and put my son in childcare. I am tutoring, after school hours, so DH can look after DS. The money is very good and the job is so easy (one on one).However it is really just pocket money - not a proper wage to support the family. I get $50 an hour(around 25 pound)but only do 2 hours a week.I may be getting some more hours soon. I suppose if you could get 10 hours a week it'd be worthwhile.

I really feel for you.I know how hard it is. I'm just not sure how I can stay out of teaching as it does pay relatively well. I'm thinking a nice quiet spot in the library might do the trick(but I might be a wee bit bored)

I'm sorry I don't have any practical advice.I suppose supply teaching requires less emotional energy and organisation, however I found that it required a much thicker skin as the kids liked to take advantage.I found it quite disheartening.

I can certainly see the advantage of the airline work, however, is it a long term solution?

I supply teach but that was very difficult when they were small because very often you get a call first thing in the morning and you go. For example I'm not teaching today, but the phone could go. You can turn it down, but if you do it too often they stop asking. You don't get the regular slots, PPA etc until you get known. I had a very flexible friend who would take them when they were small, but it was stressful.

I will be going back part time in Sept having had DS1 last year. I would have thought that the holiday /childcare argument would win over most other difficulties. Do you teach primary or secondary? I teach secondary and often see colleagues staying until 6,7 even 8pm and I honestly don;t know what they are doing in that time. I have very rarely had to do more than an hour before school and maybe two on the weekend and I teach good lessons, get good results and have a good relationship with school and pupils. Look at how you are working and maybe you will be able to rearrange things a bit so your job doesn't impinge so much

Daisy, you are in secondary and your flexible working request was refused because it wasn't in the children's interests? I find that astonishing, to be honest and hope you get your union on the case.

It is possible in secondary to organise a timetable that gives you time off without affecting the classes that you teach, so I suspect that rather than it not being in the children's interest, they refused it because they couldn't be arsed to sort you out a decent timetable.

Are there other part-timers at your school? If there are, then they can't refuse your request.

How do you teaching guys think that having a full-time job outside teaching is any different to being a teacher? AND stress and a heavy workload exists in ALL kinds of jobs.

I wonder OP if the real reason you're unsettled is that you're going back to work soon. This I have sympathy with as I was sick to the stomach when I had to 'leave' my 4 1/2 mth DS to return to full-time work. (Less so with DS2 but then I did have 8mths with him and the experience of knowing it's all ok).

Please don't think the grass is greener... it isn't. You have a good job with good pay, my advice would be to go back to teaching and settle into your new routine with your DCs.

Oh, airlines can go bust but we'll always need teachers!

You also need to make sure you're keeping options open for when your children either leave home or are out for longer days. You don't want to have them all at university and you stuck in a 'Mummy' job that isn't very fulfilling. And which you'll probably have to do until you're 70 because that's when pensions will be paid in the future.

Daisy, re the flexible working, the school I was at refused my .8 to start with because I had management responsibility. I appealed witht eh support of the union and they had to change their minds. They will try to say no because it is hassle for them, but keep plugging away.

Re the marking, one of the things that happened when I went down to 4 days is that I asked to drop my A level. It was the most rewarding part of my job, but was also the most demanding in terms of time.

However, I completely get the "I don't want to do it anymore". That's exactly how I felt and I think once you reach that point it is time to go. But as I said before, take your time and find something else that you REALLY want to do. Until then do the bare minimum (ie plan decent lessons but with assessment that involves little marking, focus on the pupils not the paperwork, start saying no)