Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not sure how to take this.

26 replies

bananalover · 08/07/2010 20:57

Our next door neighbour was on the local park this evening with his DD (only child).
My 3 DC's were storming round the park asper usual when neighbour said something to me, and I'm not really sure how to take it.
He said And I quote, "We were thinking of having another one (child), but your situation has put us off".
when he said this, I laughed, awkwardly...was he insulting me?
AIBU in thinking him and his stuck up wife view my DC's as the children from hell, which has put them off having more children themselves?

OP posts:
ladysybil · 08/07/2010 20:59

your children dont have to be from hell to put someone off having kids. handling the interactions between siblings can be a scary thing to parents of singles.

warthog · 08/07/2010 20:59

my first thought was 'that's a bit rude!'

but then maybe he was joking.

thisisyesterday · 08/07/2010 21:01

i would assume he was joking.
tactless, but a joke nonetheless

MrsMalcolmTucker · 08/07/2010 21:03

Surely he must have been joking? Because that's really rude otherwise.

Original poster
bananalover · 08/07/2010 21:03

That's what I thought at first, but he didn't laugh ha ha sort of thing, so think he was serious.
I know their DD is very well behaved and never makes a scene, well not in public anyway, but I just felt that this was very very rude of him to say...or is that just me?
Also, it's so much easier when you have an only child, isn't it?

OP posts:
LuluF · 08/07/2010 21:06

That is pretty rude. If it was me, they'd go on my 'list'.

Original poster
bananalover · 08/07/2010 21:11

What does this 'list' consist of and how do you get revenge?

OP posts:
thesecondcoming · 08/07/2010 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Choconellie · 08/07/2010 21:14

Did you not ask him what he meant by the comment?

BeerTricksPotter · 08/07/2010 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bluecardi · 08/07/2010 21:16

It was just a joke

FindingMyMojo · 08/07/2010 21:17

what did you do? Didn't you ask him what he ment? Did you change the subject? Did his remark just flap around on the ground between you like a dying fish?

What happened next?

littlebabynothing · 08/07/2010 21:17

not that I have anything to compare it to, but surely it is easier in some ways but not in others?

Original poster
bananalover · 08/07/2010 21:23

Yes, flapping around like a fish between us...that was it. I just felt incredibly uncomfortable and embarressed.
My DC's were playing on the slide, me pushing one on the swings, and one kicking a football around...nothing unusuall.

OP posts:
LostArt · 08/07/2010 21:28

He probably means that he doesn't think he could cope with more than one. Admittedly he said it in a rather clumsy way.

Unless something odd has happened to you since you had your second and third? I'm intrigued.

LuluF · 08/07/2010 21:35

My imaginary 'list' of people who have upset me over the years. (And I know HOW much of a lunatic that makes me sound - and to be honest - I never actually do anything at all - and never would - but it makes me laugh to have one all the same).

The thing is, if they have a well behaved child, the chances are that number two will be a little shit. That's the way it works. They may well be feeling smug about their parenting skills, but sometimes it's just nature. I'm an only child - hated as a kid - no one to play with - your kids have each other. That's worth a bit of raucousness.

proudnsad · 08/07/2010 21:40

he was joking, jeez

FreakoidOrganisoid · 08/07/2010 21:40

My ex neighbour once said to me that they'd been ttc until I had ds and now they definitely weren't having any more in case they got one like him

Actually I wasn't shocked at all, ds was a bloody horrible baby, screamed non stop, wouldn't be put down, couldn't sit and cuddle him you had to be up bouncing around, slept for 20 mins at a time max...I wouldn't want one like him either!

No idea what your neighbour meant though!

LostArt · 08/07/2010 21:41

lulu be warned, my mother has one of those lists. She still remembers people who have slighted her 50 plus years ago. Although I wouldn't be surprised if Mums list wasn't imaginary.

lazarusb · 08/07/2010 21:42

Maybe it's his wife's excuse for not shagging him anymore . Or maybe he doesn't realise that children like letting off steam and running around.

LuluF · 08/07/2010 21:44

LostArt - Not only am I turning into my mother, but yours as well!!

Mumcentreplus · 08/07/2010 21:44

Not sure he was serious...but sometimes other people children do make you think..

Original poster
bananalover · 08/07/2010 21:49

I get the impression that he thinks my DC's are so noisy and shouty all the time, that they will 'spoil' his nice quiete ordered life, where he has time to garden and clean his car and ....whatever.
And NO he def was not joking. And TBH, even if he was, it was a bit bloody out of order, yes?

OP posts:
superparty · 08/07/2010 21:56

It was out of order, but I think we are doing a great service to stopping morons like him having more children. I have 1 ds (17 so keeps himself to himself) and then DDs 12 8 & 7,and a baby dd (5mths) they don't do any thing unusal just the ear piercing, mind fuckingly annoying screaming that they do constanly when outside, and also not stop talking even when asleep

LuluF · 08/07/2010 21:57

I used to bring a little boy (an only child)home from school, while his mum was at work, as a favour. He used to cry regularly when he got to my house. My 3 DCs used to ask why he was crying - I couldn't tell them I had't a clue myself. His mother then told another mother from school that he got upset because my kids were noisy and boisterous. Cheeky cow.

Yes - he's definitely out of order.