to wonder why weddings often described as

[MitchyInge]

. . . the bride's special day?

Daughter is watching some utter guff on bbc3 and wedding keeps being referred to as the woman's day, her wedding etc - have heard this a few times in life too, isn't it a special day for the groom too, as a couple and their family and friends?

Because they assume its every womans dream to wear a meringue and be photographed in a blue hold up/pink limo/other standard wedding paraphenalia.

I've just asked DH if he thought that our wedding was 'my' special day, instead of ours. He said he thought it was up until the point that he saw me coming down the aisle and realised how lucky he was. I have the best DH in the world .

Seriously though, I think it is a bad thing to emphasize the 'special day for the bride' thing. My niece is getting married at the beginning of August. She was a total bitch to me for absolutely no reason a few days ago, which her mum excused by saying that it was only a few weeks to her wedding. And she had her period. Well that explains it all then, no one else has to jo through that .

Yes, bit of a historical hangover - no greater ambition allowed than to be "Mrs" - you would have hoped this sort of thinking would be dead and gone, but from the many threads on 'bridezillas', apparently not!

ooooh is THAT what bridezillas are

haha at how thick I am sometimes!

It makes me pretty sick too.

I hate that attitude too. Also can't stand brides who want a wedding not a marriage. In my experience the more expensive the wedding, the less likely the couple is to stay together!

Any man who is getting married pretty soon gets used to the idea that it is the "bride's day", and that he is only slightly less important.

Than the cake.

I'm planning my own wedding at the moment...T-minus 2 weeks and counting. If I hear the words, 'It's YOUR big day!' one more time I'm gonna start snapping heads off [irritated smiley]

UnquietDad

The main reason for a groom on the wedding day is to make the photos look balanced.

I am pmsl, put a handful of wedding photos on fb, there was about 30 comments on one saying I looked lovely/stunning/beautiful/radiant/blahblah which was all very kind but dh is on the pic with me and not one person mentioned him at all.

Have I married a munter and blissfully unaware?

Men seem to get overlooked when it comes to weddings, mine wanted the wedding more than me yet everyone assumed when we finally announced we were tying the knot it was because I wanted to not him.

Ahem. I think the syndrome to which we refer is actually known as "It's UR DAY hun. U DO WAT U WANT".

Which is as good a reason to detest weddings as any other.

YANBU.

But no worse than 'because you're worth it', 'pamper yourself' 'me-time' and the other tawdry creations of decadent capitalism.

Bah humbug.

But the upside of all this for us is that, when it comes to the stressing, we are NOT BOTHERED.

IME

Bride wants:
to stress over the dress, bridesmaid's dress, corsages, buttonholes, colours of cravat, colour of tablecloths, time of photographs, type of photographs, font on the name tags on the tables, type of flowers, distribution of "fun cameras", variety of cake, colour of cake, filling of cake, icing on cake, the "favours" (WTF?), her mother's hat, choice of music both before and during and after service, choice of wording in ceremony, drinks at start of reception, the reception menu... etc, etc. ...

Groom wants:
all his friends and family to be there and to be having a good time. And for disco to play some decent tunes and not shit like YMCfuckingA.

I got half what I wanted.

The idea of being the centre of attention in a frilly white frock was my idea of hell. I partially relented on the frock thing - but got married in purple :D

Couldn't be doing with the bridezilla thing - too much effort! I just left my mum to it as she was going through the whole "wedding I was denied for myself" syndrome.

is repugnant to loads of people isn't it? so why does the idea persist and pervade almost everything said about weddings?

actually might ask a wedding designer about this

Funny - I've just got married and NO ONE described it as being "my" day (least of all myself)

DH did just as much if not more organising than I did. All decisions were made together with very little fuss "do you want a disco?" "No" "Ok".

The only comment I got repeatedly was that I didn't seem stressed at all. Why should I be stressed? Excited, yes. Nervous, no. Stressed, no.

The only time I was slightly bridezillarish was when, through various hold ups, I only had 30 minutes to get ready instead of the planned 2 hours

Even then I just had a little rant then apologised profusely to everyone in the room.

Who are all these brides that get so worked up? And why?

And why are the men not assumed to be interested? DH was thrilled to be getting married, and knew exactly how he wanted the wedding to be (chilled with delicious food) and that is how I wanted it too

From talking to the guests before the wedding I also knew this day was just as important for our family and close friends. It was not at all just about me.