To want an evening to myself without feeling bad about not thinking about everyone elses's needs for once

[sweetbloom]

My Dp has annoyed me tonight, had a really bad week and I just wanted to go to bed once the kids were in bed.
Dp comes up the kids come up so I go downstairs and am now on the pc talking to you,I just feel I have no real mates,I dont have a life and Im feeling tired all I do is eat and I feel like crying aibu?.

No YANBU........I think lots of us will be able to relate to how you feel. Has something in particular happened to make you feel this way?

YANBU

Have a good cry if it will help you feel better.

Does your dh know that you are feeling down?

I think its because since having my dc's my life has changed and so has my friends they drifted off once we had kids.
I'm a Sahm and I have come to a crossroad where I dont know where to go from here?,my youngest goes to playgroup in September and I want to work again for my sanity and the finacial aspects but dont know what to do?.
Im lonely dp works alot and im with the kids all the time, I love them but miss having a life and real friends,who I can call and watch a movie with etc.

I understand how you are feeling, im a single mum & all I do is run around after my 10 yr old & 6 month old - and eat!! Haven't done anything for myself for so long I cant remember and it does make me feel like crying some of the time. But remember the kids wont be kids forever & you will have a social life again! My Mum & her husband go out dancing about 3 times a week now us kids are grown up, im now doing what she was doing 30 years ago!

I was lucky in that I only really had 3 friends, one of them had children before me, one just after, and the other was quite child friendly!

If your friends really have drifted away, then they weren't very good friends. My dh is older than me and not bothered really about going out, so I was able to go out every friday and saturday night if I wanted, but people just assumed I couldn't ever go out.

Maybe give your friends another chance, and see if they can mend their ways?

Have a good think about what you might like to do when your youngest starts playgroup. Are there any college courses you would like to do? Something like that could increase your earnings in the future.

That could be my post!!! Exactly the same here, dp actually moved out for a few days as I am so fed up with his lack of understanding. My ds also starts nursery in sept, so am looking for work.
I have run successful business' partied in Ibiza, had hundreds of friends. Now I only have a few male friends, no girley gossip, no support 6 days a week while dp works and I am sahm. I find it hard to imagine ever feeling like myself again. I am made to feel guilty for nipping out to yoga or a friends once a week maximum, but dp never takes me anywhere??? Sorry no good advice, but just so you know your not alone!!!

I have a disabled child and lost all my friends after spending years in and out of hospital with her and never being able to go out, people gave up on being able to see me.
I have 3 good friends but they live hundreds of miles away in my old home town.
As previous poster said i don't think you're alone in feeling like you do.

Don't think you're being unreasonable at all to feel like having a cry. Hope your family start to realise how you feel and help you have some you time or time out.

Take care x

YANBU. I typed out a reply then realised you'd posted a couple of days ago. Hope you're feeling a bit better now.

I don't have kids but am just getting out of a period of depression where I stayed in the house for a year and lost contact with a lot of friends. I found this website which has hundreds of volunteering opportunities on it. I've started a couple of placements and it's been fantastic for my confidence. It's difficult to make the initial step, but now I've done it I wish I'd done it sooner. It might be a good way for you to make some new friends and help you back into work.

Bet your dc are quite young? You will feel more part of the real world and not as isolated as they get older, honest!

Nothing wrong with getting a glass of vino collapso and chatting on here, if you can't get out with your kids.

But for the next time, plan in advance, join a book club, go for a swim, exercise class or just a walk. Clear your head.

Flibberti I have depression too and it's very easy to lock yourself in a safe house. I went on a course organised by the GP and it found that helped me a lot. It's an enormous effort to keep in touch with friends but well worth it in the end.

Your first port of call must be to your DP/DH - tell him how you are feeling, and maybe get a babysitter and enjoy some time with him, the closest person to you. Easier to get out and socialise with a partner too.

Good luck sweetie x