to ask the playschool leader to intervene?

[colditz]

I drop ds2 off at playschool between 10 and 12, depending on our plans for the day.

today I dropped him off at 11.45, and he went and sat down for lunch. One little girl took issue with his arrival and started shouting very loudly "You're LATE! YOu're LATE for your lunch and that's NAUGHTY! You're NAUGHTY!"

This was ignored by the staff until I said "can you NOT let the other children have a go at him for being late please? for a start, he's NOT late and also, he's not in control of what time he comes."

And the playschool leader then spent some time telling the other children that they aren't to tell ds2 he's late, he just comes in at different times sometimes.

However, I have the niggliest of niggles that this was mainly for my benefit and that she only intervened because I practically told her to.

Very irritating but you sorted it. You did exactly the right thing and I bet it doesn't happen again. (Do the other kids arrive at different times or all in one go?)

Wonder if that little girl's reacting to her mother being stressed over being late or something and telling her off for mucking about and not putting her shoes on or whatever.

Not that I ever lost my rag with ds at that age when he used to take forever to stop doing what he was doing, let me put his coat and shoes on and get out of the ruddy house within ooh, half an hour of our original departure time...

I dunno. I have no issues with the little girl, she was just being a small child.

It's just .... sometimes when they let us in in the morinings, if it's the newest staff member, she makes 'jokes' about "Oh, good afternoon!" (at 11 am) or "Oh we'd just about given up on you coming, Colditz'sDs2!"

And it's not fair. this arrangement was in place before she even started. the old manager was in full agreement that it is nice for four year old little boys to be taken off for breakfast in a cafe for an hour instead of coming straight to playschool, and I pay from 10 until 3 so it isn't costing them anything!

I'm being silly.

I think most of the other children do 9 - 2. ds2 is 'officially' 10 - 3 but has always, in practise, been variable. he is generally the latest to arrive but he's not the first or last to leave - it's a nursery, so children come and go at all hours depending on shift work.

You are not being silly at all, horrible to fell as if your ds is being 'told off' for something that isn't wrong and wouldn't be his doing even if it was.

Maybe you need to have a word with the manager and newest staff member and remind them what the deal is. They may just have forgotten/not realise. And the other kids may have picked up on little comments.

I had a new boss like this once, started tutting when I arrived ON TIME. Turned out he'd imagined in his own head that start time was X although our contracts said 'between X and Y' with finish times to match when you'd started. Didn't bother to find out whether he was right before making passive aggressive comments. I put him straight!

Isn't it unsettling for your ds though to get there when the other children are in the middle of an activity ?
At our preschool which is mornings only registration is important so the children all start activities at the same time and parents coming in and out at different times interupts and distracts things

It's a nursery, so they don't have 'scheduled' activities, as children turn up anywhere between 7 am and 12pm. it may be disruptive for him to be turning up at lunch time, but I usually try to avoid this - today was not avoidable.

And regardless, I do still feel that as this was the arrangement that was made when he started the place, the staff shouldn't be commenting on it to him, and shouldn't be allowing the other children to comment on it to him.

he's not been happy about going lately, and it does coincide with this new staff member.

oh well, it's his last day next week. he starts school in September.

oh god, I'm doing the thing I hate "AIBU?"
"yes, a little bit"
"No I'm not!"

Sorry.

Fair enough

Ever thought he is upset because he keeps coming in at different times! It must be daunting for him coming in and all the children are sat around the table waitng for dinner staring at him. (as children do) or would you like the staff to tell all the children to not look at him either!

I think YABU and yes a bit silly, not a big deal really, and I think more about how you feel!

he has to come in at different times, or he would be there all day. It's not fair to expect him to have no time with mummy at all just because I have to work and his brother has to have hospital appointments. he's been at this nursery since January, always with the same arrangement, and he's only started being upset in the last 3 weeks.

And I don't expect children not to look at him, they do look at him and he doesn't care. He does care when a stroppy little girl starts shouting at him and nobody steps in to update her on the facts.