To intervene in dd's friendship?

[Mowgli1970]

Dd gave out 5 invites yesterday to a birthday sleepover. One of the girls said "Why have you done a fancy invitation? You didn't have to be all posh. You could have just rung me!" Then she folded the invitation up, put it back in the envelope and gave it back to dd! Now dd was quite hurt and confused (as was I!). I've asked dd to give the invite back to the friend today and say "I'm a bit confused, but I'd like you to come to my party." I'm thinking of ringing the girl's Mum to find out if there's an underlying problem, or is it best to leave it to them to sort out? The only thing I can think of is that I gave the Mum 4 party dresses that dd had grown out of for her daughter (only because she'd mentioned she had lots of family weddings/parties coming up). Maybe dd's friend is miffed at taking second hand clothes? AIBU to butt in or should I leave well alone?

Depends on their age. If they are secondary, I would say, leave them to it, but if it's primary school I would speak to her mum. The girl sounds ungrateful and a bit rude and jelous to reject the info like that!

invite*

Maybe you should give the invite to the mother.

seems very odd. how old ?

7 or 8 ?

Dd will be 10. Maybe it's the hormones kicking in!

Hmm - I know a girl this age whose friends make little comments like this - where it's hard to tell if it is intentional rudeness or a silly show-offy thing to say. See what the outcome was when your DD tries again today.

Is this the girl that your dd likes the most ? If not, let it go. If she is the ringleader, or this is the girl that dd really likes ( which makes me worry that your dd likes her too much, when she doesn't treat your dd very nicely - only that i have this with ds1(6) who seems to like a boy that doesn't treat him that well), then maybe soem intervention is req's. actually no. probably not. see what has happened today.