To hate party invites being given in the playground infront of the children who have not been invited,aibu.

[sweetbloom]

My ds was left to look on today and the parent involved did it on purpose,I except he may not always be invited to party's, but he looked at me about the way the parent behaved ,I will explain this to him later.
I left the school quietly fuming and watching all the other mums and their kids kissing each other butts.
But aibu to think it would be better to have just asked a teacher to put in book bag aibu?, and who else hates the school playground?.

If you want your child invited to lots of parties minle with all the other parents. When children are in infants the mums normally decide who is invited as friendship groups are pretty flexible. As children get older they decide who they want to invite.

mingle

I assume that teachers can't give out invites unless the whole class are invited. At least I've read that before on MN .

Ds's party last month was limited to 12 by the venue which meant inviting 11 school friends. He has 16 in his class. At my request he invited 8 from his class (so half his class) and the remainder from the other class in the year. I sent out invites by email so avoided the playground angst of distributing invites. Still made me unpopular as we still seem to be at the stage of having whole class or even whole year parties (year 1).

Thanks guys I guess I over reacted a bit with the invites, But there are two mums who are bitchy about me to my face and behind my back, I do not know what I have done but today was the last straw for me with the invite I was hurt, and my son was a little but it was more me.
I like your suggestion Vinegar, I will try that from today, I kind of mingle with one mum, maybe thats where Im going wrong?.She is good friends with the other mums and its hard,Thanks for making me feel better

FSD . And she has not even invited DS2 back to hers when she said she would....not that he is bothered.

Sweetbloom, don't worry too much about the bitchy mums at the gates. In my experience, they normally all fall out by YR1 anyway .

All 'gates' are different - at DS1's gate, I was (and still am in YR4) probably considered part of a clique, at DS2's , hardly anybody chates to anyone else still after a whole reception year together.

chats...ahem!

May I also add you may regret getting friendly with some mums as Poshpaws has pointed out - back biting and tiffs. I am generally on the outskirts of both dcs classes. I am pleasant and smiley but very busy all the time - dashing here and there and exchanging words in passing . Do out of school stuff with a few other mums plus dcs but I never enter into bad mouthing other's children, it will only get back to the parent doncha know. It's a minefield out there!

I feel for anyone in this position. My sister has found the school gates icy for all her kids growing up. I have always made a massive effort to talk to other parents. Sometimes it's like trying to wake the dead, it's taken years to get comfortable with some of them. But I'm relentless and it's easier for me as I have been a sahm and a parent governor and a classroom helper.

The quickest and easiest way to any parent's heart is by observing something positive about their child. You don't have to do it if you don't think it, I'm not being that cynical but it's a great way to connect.

Whenever I help on school trips I always make an effort to say to a parent that their child has been helpful or well behaved and compliment them. It's the way I was brought up I think to friendly and to try to connect with people. But I was brought up in the US and things are not as immediate here.

I hate the playground too..bunch of bastards

YANBU, I totally understand why this has upset you. I also understand that its not the fact that they havent had an invite, its the fact that the invites are being given out in front of children who are not getting one. Thats the problem really.

Why are some parents so insensitive as to do this in front of other children in the class. It really is a horrible thing to do in my opinion.

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I always just gave the invitations out to my kids to hand out to their friends at school. If they're too young to hand out their own invitations they are too young to have a party. I def don't think it's the teachers job. Forbidding kids to take invites to school seems mad if they aren't going to issue parents with addresses of all the kids which would have data protection implications.