I never knew my nan (on my mothers side) she died before I was born. I didn't meet my grandad until I was about 10 as my mother left me when I was 4 and he wasn't sure if he was welcome in the family. I am the only DGC on that side of the family, only great niece, and niece. Not many of that family had children and I wasn't exactly planned.
Anyway, he was with his partner pretty much all the time I knew him. When he died 3 years ago, I was very upset about the fact that I wasn't told until 4 days after it happened. They lived abroad so its not like I could be there quickly. The funeral was arranged for 2 days after I was told and I couldn't be there in time. I was very sad and disappointed that I wasn't told and didn't get to say goodbye to him. His partner then told me that had got married the previous year with a "I thought you knew" comment. I had no idea. I would have at least sent a card or again, would love to have been there. My grandad was ill and I wasn't told the extent of his illness. I was planning to go over and see him again in the summer the year he died as I knew he had been a bit unwell but it wasn't made clear that it was serious. I still don't really know what happened. Anyway my step nan said she was going to come over and scatter his ashes and I said I wanted to be there. It never happened and she said she still has them at home. Fair enough. I also said I would like to have something of his to keep, nothing for value but a keepsake of some sort. She said she had sorted out a couple of things for me but I've never heard anything more.
Last year she was making arrangements to come over but they had to keep changing as she wasn't very well. However I got an e mail a few months ago to say that she was over for a month but she was only in my city for that weekend and could we meet up the next day. As it happened it really wasn't convenient and I couldn't make it with that short notice (she would have known when she was coming as she had to book her ticket). Then she said maybe I could go and see her at her daughters which was a short drive away. I agree and said that would be great, I didn't mind driving. She said she would be in touch then never did.
Now I have heard nothing for months. Obviously she went home and never bothered to get in touch about me going to see her. I am slightly miffed and upset that I haven't been told things and been let down quite a bit. We were also making arrangements to meet with my aunt who I haven't seen in years as she wasn't sure if I wanted to see her (she is my 'mothers' sister) and my great aunt who I don't see very much. Again, step nan was arranging all this but it has all come to nothing.
I'm getting a bit fed up of it really. AIBU?