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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to make DD get the bus?

45 replies

ThatVikRinA22 · 05/07/2010 17:37

at risk of this thread making me feel even worse....

here goes

DD (age 13) is going on a 3 day residential trip with school this week - she leaves weds morning and comes back friday teatime) she has just this minute informed me that she will need a lift to school that day.

i work from 8am on a morning. i had not booked time off because i thought the kids would just get the school bus as per normal. she has laid the biggest guilt trip on me - saying she thought i would see her off.
i cannot get time off at this late stage. i have phoned DH and he cant get time off either. i have argued with DH as he is a manager and could have organised an hour off imo - but he says he cant. i know i cant as its too late to organise cover.

AIBU to get her to take the school bus as normal? i feel awful now that i didnt organise something to go and see her off.

OP posts:

Ewe · 05/07/2010 21:54

Well, DD wouldn't necessarily have to know that's what she was doing.

I would rather think of it as sending the message that something that's really important to my child is important enough to me to skive off for half an hour. 13 is still pretty young and the big bad world of work is still quite a way off, I personally can't see it doing lasting damage.

BicycleBelle · 05/07/2010 22:02

Me too. My 8 year old DD2 goes off for a school trip tomorrow, and although DH can take her to the coach tomorrow morning, neither of us can collect her on Thursday at 4pm because we'll be at work. Childminder will collect her as usual and she'll have to manage her case on the bus / long walk as best she can. And my 13 year old DD1 has just announced that the week all 3 DCs are at my sister's place 60 miles away during the school holidays, she needs to come back a day earlier than arranged to attend a Guides trip. I can't take the day off to collect her a day early, so she has 2 choices: Be a day late for her 4 day Guides trip, or get the coach home on her own the night before. She's a bit worried about this at the moment, but if she is put on the coach by my sister, and met by us at this end, I can't see the problem. So, you are not the only tough mum, and I'm sure our kids will grow up more independent because of it.

Original poster

ThatVikRinA22 · 05/07/2010 22:19

well she is being very stoic about it now she knows im feeling bad. we are really close - she has just hit that age where i can't kiss or cuddle her in public! i think she just assumed i would be there as i have been around for other trips - but they havnt fallen on a working day. i hate my job at the min and there is no flexibility and my boss doesnt like me much to boot - so no favours would be done for me if i asked for time off. and i cant throw a sickie, not even a little fib to go in late im afraid.

she is really sensible and is doing her best now to say its all ok and she will be fine, but i still feel bad that i hadnt thought of it - i have a test coming up and i just cannot think about 2 things at once.

she has a severe nut allergy and im doing my best to not terrify myself about that - i have no control when im not there, but she is eminently sensible and i trust her.

i think she has forgiven me anyway. we had a lovely cuddle before she went to bed.
i still feel terrible though for just not thinking.

OP posts:

larks35 · 05/07/2010 22:31

YANBU. Good lord!! Am I surprised by the number of posts thinking YABU? I am, but then again as a secondary school teacher, maybe I'm not. It goes a long way to explain some of the OTT needy behaviour some teenagers exhibit.

I accompanied some Y7 pupils on a residential a few years ago and most of them didn't know how to wash up, or even just stack up plates and tidy up! I had to teach them how to use a broom and dust-pan and brush FGS! To their credit, they did get right into the team tidy up we would do each day and when I told their parents about it on our return, they were amazed!

Original poster

ThatVikRinA22 · 06/07/2010 23:47

thanks larks. i just never gave it a thought tbh, she is very self sufficient and organised (better than me actually) and i just thought if there were any other arrangements she would tell me.

anyway, she seems fine with it now. its me that's wobbling!

OP posts:

Loshad · 07/07/2010 00:06

i didn't even think about it - ds3 (then 11 very nearly 12) went on a 3 day residential earlier this year, and i just put him on the school bus with his rucksac as normal (bar an extra have a great time). He was fine and he just accepts i have to work, there probabaly were a number of neurotic parents who went back to school after break to wave them off but i guess DS3 would rather eat as the alternative would be not if i lost my job

PortiaNovmerriment · 07/07/2010 00:40

Oh relax- you sound like a lovely mum: don't give yourself a hard time.

Original poster

ThatVikRinA22 · 07/07/2010 18:52

well she was fine. she has phoned tonight and is having a lovely time.

she is my baby girl though and im missing her. ill be glad to have her back on friday.

OP posts:

sarah293 · 07/07/2010 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

secunda · 07/07/2010 19:00

She is 13, doesn't need mummy to wave her off. It's only a 3 day trip fgs, she is not emigrating for years

PortiaNovmerriment · 07/07/2010 21:12

Glad to hear it Vicar

AMAZINWOMAN · 07/07/2010 22:21

What would you do if you were a widow? there is nothing you could do, as you have to work and at the age of 13 your dd should see that.

iin 3 years time she could be married and is moaning about not being waved off?

Original poster

ThatVikRinA22 · 07/07/2010 23:08

keh?
im not a widow. (thankfully) and that has nothing to do with this whatsoever! what a weird leap to make! and if she was married in 3 years time id be bloody horrified. she wasnt moaning. she thought i would be there as all the other mums were going to be there. she took it on the chin and was fine.

ive had some stuff to deal with in my life, at a much younger age, but i fail to see the point of the last post tbh.

sometimes, mn is like stepping into a parallel universe, i swear?

OP posts:

2shoes · 07/07/2010 23:11

glad to hear she is ok
can understand how you felt as even at 13 they are still our babies.

PortiaNovmerriment · 07/07/2010 23:13

doodidoodidoodidoodi

Original poster

ThatVikRinA22 · 07/07/2010 23:17

lol....

agreed.

you have just entered

the twilight zone. i have these on dvd actually...

OP posts:

PortiaNovmerriment · 07/07/2010 23:20

I used to love the dancing silhouette girl- it imprinted itself on my erotic imagination from a very young age...if I tried to copy her now it would resemble a wobbling jelly, so I'll leave that image with you

Original poster

ThatVikRinA22 · 07/07/2010 23:31

are you sure your not thinking of tales of the unexpected there portia?

i am old enough to remember both.

OP posts:

PortiaNovmerriment · 07/07/2010 23:32

Ooh, I am- you are right. I've been getting turned on by the wrong thread titles all these months

Original poster

ThatVikRinA22 · 07/07/2010 23:33

sadly i have those on dvd too....

OP posts:

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