is it just me or are lots of the mumsnets OH's complete nobs?

[MeandMyKid]

I have only been posting in the last few weeks but have been reading loads and it seems that lots of the members on here have either abusive, selfish or thick OH's. Whether it's insisting on buying a car because they couldn't bear to sit in an MPV or the dreadful situation of the poor girl who has just had a baby.

What's going on???

It's only the MNers who have OHs that are 'complete nobs' that post about them.

It's rather like a doctor thinking all people are sick, because that's all they see, or a policeman thinking all people are baddies.

PEople don't tend to ned to post about lovely nice decent partners.

Yabu. The majority of men are fine. I'm sure if we got each and every womans partner on here you'd find a few knobby women too....

It's the people who are in difficult situations with their partenrs who need the support and help and advice of others on an internet forum.

Doesn't mean everyone's parterns are the same tohugh.

My DH isn't a compete nobber, only sometimes. I think you are getting a distorted view, after all I don't post saying my DH has arranged a babysitter and is whisking me off to (insert fave place). I think people post sometimes out of frustration.

As an OH myself I would hope that your sample is not representative of us as a whole.

I'm guessing that (as with most forums) people tend to post about the bad stuff rather than the "Isn't it great my Hubby bought me flowers/gave me a footrub/massaged me/did the housework/took the kids out etc"

Let's hope so anyway!

Well my hub is scrumptialicious and isn't a big nob (well, in certain ways he is - iyswim).

My DH is lovely.

But if I started a thread saying
" My Dh is a nice guy"
I think people would go and " and ......?"

People post with problems, jokes and random crap. So the DHs get mentioned only when they are a problem, a joke or randomly crap

Mine's lovely. You also don't get that many threads saying "My DCs school is fine" or "My MIL is pretty nice most of the time" or many other things, despite them being true.

Well, spending a bit of time on here does make me appriciate how lovely my DH is!

The other way to look at it is there are a lot of woman in this world who put up with shit and then are surprised that they are contiuningly treated badly...

Oh yes, and when people do start a thread saying "My DH is lovely", and get a few responses, they will very soon start being accused of being "smug" and the thread being unkind to those less fortunate

lol @ thread title

I think you have to view lots of the threads in a "count your blessings" sort of way - I read about what complete, utter fuckwits some people are living with and think actually, that slightly annoying thing DH did the other day was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Mrs stubbornhubby's DH is adorable.

Sadly some people are just utter, utter
scum, and gender is an irrelevance. I know a woman putting her ex through something every scrap as bad as the stuff on the threads here. Emotional abuse on a catastrophic scale, and their child will pay the biggest price of all in the years ahead. Horrible that so many deeply unpleasant people exist, isn't it.

I think that considering mumsnetters are supposedly a more highly educated bunch of women than the average woman, their husbands surprisingly don't seem to be any more enlightened or helpful than average..

Jmo

I don't have a husband. And that makes me feel lucky rather than unlucky.

YABU, My DH is fine and so are my friends DH's

YABU but I can see why you think that way. I have seen a fair few threads where the OH has been lovely, they've just not been the point of the thread IYSWIM?

Only post about mine when he provokes me to by his nobbishness.

Can't really talk about how nobby he is in RL.

Doesn't mean he is actually a nob.

I agree with you Valium!!!

Come on you lot all you're saying is 'my dh is lovely' or he's 'fine'........... Where are the outstanding husbands???? Can't you heap on the praise a bit...... You know, prove the op wrong?!?

Depends what threads your reading. agree that most threads start because there is something to tell, i.e dh being a nob. you don't see threads started , just because someones dh is nice. well occassionally you do when a dh does something really nice.
but there are plenty of threads where people tell nice things. my dh is a star, my mil is lovely and ds's school is fab. just so -as-you-know. i mention these things from time to time. you do see this stuff on threads.

but i do agree with OP. I am often staggered a) by how extremely nobby they are and b) how there are so many of them.
I wonder what % of MN dh's and dp's are nobbers. it seems like a high % to me.

My DH is a good guy - funny, loving, loyal, clever, practical. Also lazy as fuck, a little bit selfish. But do you know what? Surprising as it may seem I'm not perfect either! I know but there we are! And I think that is true for most human beings - whether they possess a penis or not.

My partner's lovely but he never changes the bedding.
I can be an ass-hole too though.

One poster gets a lot of nasty comments because she talks about her dh they say she is smug. You can't win sometimes!

A lot of abusers isolate their victims socially, though. So it isn't surprising, perhaps, that they turn to anonymous women online. The blessing is that they can so easily be pointed in the right direction, as places like Women's Aid are online.

I do think the anonymity is a huge factor. Many people can talk about unspeakable things that they would find harder IRL, perhaps.

Wise words confuzled!