i dont think i am.

[booyhoo]

i am waiting to do my pre-reg course for CMing in oct. our car is on it's last legs and we are going to have to change it. so when discussing cars OH seemed quite surprised that i was looking at 6/7 seater cars. we have two dcs and i expect to be able to have 4 mindees. OH says if we are getting a 6/7 seater he will have to get himself another car because he wont "drive about in a bloody bus".

my objections to this are;

1. we are tring to save a deposit to buy a house (one of us trying a bit harder than teh other it seems)
2. he is forces and gets home about 1 weekend a month. any car he had would sit here for the rest of the month
3. the cost of him having a car would cancel out any income i make for the first 6 months or so of CMing. 4)he should stop being so bloody image obsessed- i put up with alot for his career, he should give a bit too.

his reasons are as stated above "they're like buses"

so AIBU?

a mini mpv like grand scnic /xzafira etc is not so big

I think you know you aren't. he, on the other hand is being a bit daft. We have a seven seater (for three of us) and it isn't like a bus.

I forgot to add, my DH would love a Ferarri (not sure how he would pay for it) but accepts that once you have children, priorities and needs change.

Yanbu!
I run a toddler group, and in order to lug all the stuff about I have to have one of those van/car combos. I hate it! I'd love for us to have a second car but we can't afford it so we both have to drive it. Tough luck!
And for one weekend a month that's ridiculous!

i know, there are some that really dont look like mpvs at all, they look really nice.

YANBU.

the bit that annoys me the most is that it is enabling me to have a career, an income. i could easily go back to my old job where we were paying extortionate amounts in childcare and we would have even less to spend on a new car for his precious vanity.

Is he supportive of the childminding thing?

yes he is supportive of it, he knows how much i want to do it and he is glad i have taken the leap from employed to self employed (i have always wanted this). he is a real car person, he likes flashy cars that makes lots of noise. i think he was hoping that when we changed car it would be for something he could get excited about but it just isn't logical. needs must.

he is definitely being unreasonable - he's hardly ever there to drive it and the latest models of 7seaters really are not that much bigger than "normal" cars.

on the plus side of having these bigger cars, you can fit more in, and you have a much better view of the road when you drive as the seats are a bit higher.

he's not being very supportive either, btw.
you need to sit him down with a list of pros.

Maybe there's a compromise, in that once you've built up an income you can treat yourselves to a weekend ride. Maybe a year?

i have told him my reasons he just said "oh do whatever you want" (which i will) but he says that when he cant be bothered listening to reason.

He is being a totally unreasonble knobhead about this.

Spending 6 months of your wages to buy himself a car he doesn't need is outrageous.

There are sporty estates now for vain men who think driving an MPV is beneath them. They are bloody expensive though.

Tell him if he won't drive around in a bloody bus he needn't drive at all.

it would probably be a good way off PL as everything we have will be going towards a house for the next few years.

This is totally nosey and pretty much irrelevant booyhoo, and you can tell me to mind my own business if you like, but what kind of annual income do you expect to make as a CM? I'm a teacher but really don't want to leave DD when I go back part-time. Just thinking about other options ...

YANBU, by the way

You know you're NBU here. He is being ridiculous and has probably realised it, hence the "do what you want" line. Dippy git.

Anyway - he's told you to go ahead, away you fo with it and he can just put up!

tbh TMF i dont know how much i will make. ideally i would like to make about £12K a year but that depends on getting the mindees. the CM that was looking after my two and another LO said she was getting £350/week for a 3 day week (she had all 3 on the same days) she felt she didn't need to take on any more mindees as she was making enough. i would be very pleased with that.

Is he just flapping his gums to make the point that such a MANLY man as him would only drive an uncool car under severe sufferance? Does he just want to make the point that it isn't his first choice, so that whenever it comes up in future he can let friends know that He Knows His Cars, and is only driving your practical car because needs must? If so, humour him.

If he means it, he is a tosser. Tell him to hire something suitably penis compensatory on the 1 weekend a month he needs it.

Ford SMax - looks more like a car than a bus, but has 2 extra fold up seats (forward facing I think) in boot.

DH is being knob, but if you asked for his advice, could you draw him in? Maybe he'd happily help you find something that's a bit of a compromise.

oh he wouldn't go as far as to hire a car for the weekends that he is home. he will drive it, i know he will. he would just rather use the money alotted for a car he will 'look good' in. it feels as though he thinks his career is worth sacrifice (by me) but mine isn't worth him losing 'street cred'. how infantile.

Butterbur, we aren't changing til i have actually been registered so that could be a good while off. i am going to drop it in the meantime and then try and get him involved nearer the time wrt reliable makes and suchlike.

Thanks for the info, booyhoo.

a motorbike???? he would kill himself. and not only that- he would have the same problem with a motorbike, infact, worse. a motorbike has to be flashy, it isn't a mundane necessity, it is a status symbol, he would spend a fortune making it look good and sound good and buying all the leathers and boots (can you tell that my dad and every one of my uncles have motorbikes? )