ther's this woman who keeps trying to get me involved in stuff at school

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texts with do you want to help me run this

conversations that go will you make x for this

and she's beginning to drive me mad

some points to ponder (so I don't spill gradually and get trolled)

1. My eldest child is almost out of secondary school when he went to that school there was no PTA, I set one up, ran it for 7 years passed it on

2. She has her first child in reception with my youngest of 4 kids who've all been through it and it's all new and lovely to her

3. I work full time and am coming to the end of my term as Chair of Governors and also work full time. I already make stuff, run stalls do other stuff to the best of my ability but on my terms

I feel like I've done enough and I can step back for a bit. I've explained this to her and she seems to have taken me on as someone to convert into helping out

I have told her I do enough already. I have told her I am already committed she does not seem to get it. I have even laughed at her and said outright no

AIBU

no, yanbu

tell her again, and ask her not to keep asking you because you don't wish to offend by keep saying no, which is what will happen

could you take 5 or 10 mins to help her canvass some more help?

Be straight with her.

Say, "Look darling I understand your enthusiasm, and it is lovely, exactly what the school needs. But you must appreciate my situation, this is my fourth child in this school, I am chair of governors, I have spent seven years leading the PTA, you must find somebody else to delegate to, as I am doing plenty already. In fact, I need to step back a little and let fresh bods take over"

she is a bit insecure about it all and wants a kind of buddy/mentor I think

or maybe she just likes you ,and since she is busy with all this stuff now and it is on her mind all the time , it is all she has to throw at you in the way of a friendship offering.

Recommend someone else. Someone specific

Be honest with her about how she is making you feel. In your shoes I think I would say something along the lines of 'I appreciate you thinking of me with all these things but I am doing all I feel I can do and it is starting to get a bit upsetting that you want me to do even more.'

ah, now the chair of our PTA does this even when we stalwart committee members are already signed up to do x y and z, but i think its cos she just texts the same to ALL her parent contacts - could this be the case here?

I am at the point of wanting to punch

I wouldn't even bother to explain any more. She expects you to have the same level of enthusiasm that she has and you've already explained in detail why you can't do more.

Just keep repeating to her "I said no" and move on. She'll grind you down if you let her.

Grief. She'll send people running if she keeps on like that!

I've gone the softly softly approach at our school. Been very grateful for whatever people can offer, time, donations, spending their money... And it is paying dividends now. We have got more volunteers for our summer fete then ever before. I think it's because people know they won't be presurised into doing more just because they help once.

It could be that she's sending a round text to all, in which case she needs to make that clearer. Otherwise I suggest you tell her that you're doing as much as you are able to at this time in your life and that the constant pressure to do more is making less inclind to help at all.

No they are specific texts to me - I wouldn't react to a round robin honestly

I do find it amusing

but it's gone through to irritating now

It does sound like she wants your support, rather than that she's trying to delegate. Or maybe she is worried that you may feel pushed out.

I think QSincognito's suggestion is good.