Bottom burps

[Jasonthunderpants]

I have a rule which is no farting in the bed when the sheets have been changed
This morning DP was farting like a cart horse in bed and the sheets where only changed yesterday,when I want to poop I stick my bottom out of the covers and then let rip.
I am no prude and I like a Dutch oven as much as the next man but it would be nice to keep the sheets stink free for a few days
AIBU?

You need a marriage blanket!

After DS1 (6) woke me up this morning by farting in my face I am wondering if they do hats.

Porridge, that is hysterical.

It's fab - isn't it? I love the looks on the face of the couple. And the bride, clutching her fart blanket lovingly. Can you imagine having to compose your features into a suitable expression when opening that as a wedding present? lol

I want a marriage blanket. It would save DH's delicate nose

I'm crying with laughter at bum chuckles. I may adopt that for this house.

"Contains the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons"

wow... I'm getting one.

DW is farting again.Mind you I blame myself,we had falafal last night for tea and tonight I made a chickpea curry
She will be blowing off all night long

Are yuo still with us jason?

I very nearly ordered a marriage blanket, sadly they don't deliver to Switzerland. DH once woke me out of a deep sleep with the foul stench of chilli pumps [vom]

That's baaad kreecher. I get really corss if they are too whiffy. DS has banned DH from farting in his bedroom.

DH is renown as the worst ever farter (he used to travel on coach a lot, on tour, cans of Oust where kept within reach by others)

He has been known to wake me because it was so bad.

He once was so bad, I was physically sick.

He is no longer allowed curry or chilli at home.

As long as they are not sharts I don't see the problem

Why do people find other peoples farts offensive but enjoy sniffing there own?

OMG Shoshe, you were PHYSICALLY SICK????
I love "trouser Trumpets!"

WTF is a Dutch Oven??

A Dutch oven is when you fart in bed and push you partners head under the covers to share the experience

Porridge, HOW did you find that?! Have you got one? Does it work? DH is FOUL after a kebab!

We call them Pardons as that is what everyone in this household says after emitting one, whilst hanging their head in shame (prude and proud of it emoticon)

TBH I woudl rather a fart was kept under teh duvet than allowed to permeate the room, so sticking your arse out is U IMO.
And wtf are you farting that means it makes your clean sheets dirty

Geraldine, he has been known to clear a bar (Which can be good at bike rallies, you can send him in for the drinks, he clears it, and gets served quick to get him out)

Galena

Sadly I do not possess a fart blanket, it was mentioned to me by my dad, why I have no idea however I would be willing to give it a trial run if the problem was out of hand.

DD1 has SN, and one of her first phrases, thought up all by herself, was "poo bubbles".

haha - the marriage blanket was on Graham Norton the other night. He gave one to Katy Perry for her and Russel Brand

every cloud has a silver lining, eh, Shoshe?

Thank you for enlightening me re. Dutch Ovens, Jasontp. If DH ever does that I will divorce him.