To make a posthumous gift in Mum's name

[NKfffffffffe9]

It's a (very generous) great aunt's big birthday this weekend, and after my mother died in earlier this year the previously entirely defunct relationship with my brothers seemed to have a glimmer of new life. My mother's death has left both myself and my two brothers in a very financially strong situation, and after an additional unexpected refund of her golf club membership, I suggested it be put towards drinks for the big party, as the whole family will be there and it is the kind of event my MUm would have loved and was indeed looking forward to.

One of my brother's is completely onboard, whilst the other replied to my emailed suggestion saying he felt it totally unnecessary to 'subsidise' other people's costs. I replied emphasising how important it was to me, that our other brother completely agreed and how much we feel it would have meant to Mum. He never replied to this email, and so after he was unresponsive for one week, I proceeded to contact the rest of the family, costing the event as a whole. He replied to this email saying he still refused to allow this to go ahead.

I think I should go ahead anyway, but am worried he will cause a fuss on the big day
AIBU?

I'm sorry for your sad loss. Family arguments must make it harder to bear still, and why? Just because DB doesn't want to see his share of the refund go on others? Or does he have other, less apparently uncharitable reasons?

Its a hard one. Perhaps you could ask him what he might suggest as an alternative way of using the golf club refund to celebrate your Mum with the rest of the family and see if there's a compromise, such as, oh, I don't know, using the money to hire a photographer on the day and/or to send pictures of the party to each guest as a memento.

Unless he holds the purse strings he'll be hard pushed to refuse to allow your plan to go ahead, especially at such short notice. Besides, he is outvoted 2 to 1.