Not to get DH a birthday present

[BikeRunSki]

DH will be 35 in a few weeks, and I am seriously considering not getting him a birthday present.

We had our tenth wedding anniversary a couple of months ago. I got him a not-cheap-not-expensive-but-thoughtful-and-significant present and a nice card.

He got me ...... a card from the box of cheap (and some quite nasty) cards I keep for emergencies/last minute remembering of events and so on.

Can I spend the £50 or so I would have spent on him on me instead?

Have you talked to him about how you feel?

Yes, but havn't mentioned birthday present.

Sorry, posted that before I'd finished. I've talked to him, but he wasn't motivated into getting a belated gift or anything.

I'll be 40 at the end of the year, not holding my breath.

hmm was it a one off or is he always like it?

i have to admit that this year i didn't do anything for dp's birthday or father's day because he never, ever does anything for me

He's pretty much always like it. His family just don't do presents or celebrations. They send each other cheques on their birthdays. My mum has always made a big fuss of us on our birthdays (I am 1 of 4) to make up for having no money when I was a child. I'd rather have a fuss than a big present tbh, but clearly I can't buy a fuss!

but did he give YOU a cheque? soiunds like you didn't get a fuss OR a pressie

Well if he's not used to a fuss, he probably won't be that bothered about no present?

DH and I sometimes get each other presents and sometimes don't. On our wedding anniversary it is quite common for only 1 of us to do something (this year, neither of us bothered). I think the problem is that you expect your birthday/anniversary to be a big deal and DH doesn't. So you either need to talk to him and make him see your point of view or accept that this is the way things are ... If he's not used to making a huge fuss he may genuinely not getting why you are upset.

We don't really do wedding anniversaries and I'm worse than husband for forgetting. It doesn't mean anything though. We still get birthday and xmas presents though.
For my birthday I just drop lots of hints of what I'd like.
To me birthday and wedding anniversary are completely different, unless it's 25th or 40th.

OMG. All is forgiven. Got in yesterday to find Tiffany box on my pillow, containing a silver necklace, with an pendant of DS's initial aqnd a card saying "Better late than never"(under my sister's instructions he gave me the same necklace with my initial for my birthday a few years ago, which was the day we decided to try for DC). His birthday is next week, better get shopping!