...to dislike the term 'Daddy's Girl'?

[cherryteat]

This is the first time I've been driven to start a thread on here.
I am the proud Mum of a gorgeous four month old baby girl. I am still quite disabled by a long and severe bout of SPD/PGP.
My DP has been amazingly supportive of me and is a wonderful Daddy too. I am so proud of our little family but feel so redundant and dependent due to my hideous condition. Everywhere we go people comment on how DD is or will be 'a real Daddy's Girl'.
AIBU to feel a bit miffed? If we had a boy would people say the same thing? Daddy's Boy doesn't have the same ring, and Mummy's Boy has some negative connotations.
I do what I can to the best of my abilities, I adore our girl and hope that I will be more to her than just a pair of boobs!

Hi CherryTeat,
I think I know where you are coming from. While I was pregnant with my second child I was quite unwell. As I was working and very tired some of the childcare fell to my boyfriend. Everybody praised what a great father my boyfriend is and how he does EVERYTHING........even though I was still working, looking after my daughter and doing most things around the home. I agree he is fab, but he didn't do more than I do on any given day (what about praise for ME?? LOL). It was just the more obvious things he was doing i.e taking her to nursery, to the park.

Peoples comments can affect you though, I stated to believe my DD preffered her aunty more than me because they could do things together when I couldn't. I probably was a little depressed at the time.

Like Prozacfairy I used to drive myself silly overanalysing my relationship with my daughter and thinking she would hate me when she is older because I 'neglected'her and in darker moments I still feel this. But really, she is only 3 and will she still remember the months that I couldnt take her to the park or wald her to nursery when she is 15yrs or 20 years???

Not sure if I had/hve PND but it sure feels like it sometimes....

My daughter is now 5 and she is more of a 'daddies girl' than a mommy's girl! but it only started happeing when i became pregnant with my little boy, i tried my hardest but in a weird way it was like she did not like me!
We have a better bond again now she is getting older but it does bother me a little about the whole daddies girl thing as i always have and always will do anything and everything for her.
My partner's family used to say when she was only a tiny baby daddies girl and it really annoyed me especially being my first child. I think people should not assume but let bonds happen naturally.
Now i do have my little boy and he is all me at least i no that maybe it was not me that did anything wrong and for some reason she just prefers her dad. It is a bit weird but i have gotten used to it now.

I would love DD to be a Daddy's girl! I think children have a special relationship with their mother no matter what (well, in most cases). A special relationship with their father is not always a given. I have a fantastic relationship with my dad, maybe more-so than my sisters, and I love it. It doesn't make me love my mum less. I take every opportunity to encourage my DH to feel every bit as important in DD's life as I am and I hope their relationship will be very strong throughout her life.

Cherry - Really try to put your mother and your relationship with her to one side. Your DD is the start of a whole new story for you.

I have a similarly crap mother and have next to no bond with her but I've tried to let that be my inspiration to do the complete opposite to her and be the best mother I can be to my DS.

And yes, I guess I was a daddy's girl - because it was him who ended up single-handledly bringing me up. I'm now so grateful that DS has both DH and I in his life (and I try remind myself of that on days when he's all for his Daddy!)

Dh is on STW (or Singletrack World for those not initiated ) it's a mtn biking forum that discusses a whole hell of a lot more then biking. Think of it as MN for blokes who also happen to ride bikes.

Thanks all. I love The AIBU chats and thought about posting this elsewhere for a 'softer' response but really appreciate the mix of logic, humour and kindness today.
I love BFIng DD for the lovely closeness it brings & for the fact it's one of the only things I can do efficiently for her without support from anybody else. We do have lots of love and laughs between the two of us, as do her and DP and us as a three.
My Mum recently returned to my life after a long absence. Having her around is having a weird affect on me! My siblings and I want to give our DCs a happier and more balanced life than the one we had. I was obsessed with my own Dad for years after they split and when we met again he'd become a broken alcoholic and drug user. It will be fab for our DD to grow up with such a positive role model in her own father. I am determined to be a positive female role model and not let the ghosts of the past haunt me too much. I think that my low mood and feelings of inadequacy are exacerbated by my fragile physical state and I'm so afraid of turning my DD away from me by exhibiting low mood and wallowing in self pity!

the phrase daddy's girl sounds pervy to me....creepy.

I don't think it sounds pervy really, but for me it brings to mind tacky leopard print tops with "daddy's lil sweetie" or something on them. Ew, IMO.

When you put it that way it does sound a bit sinister. Like one of those made-for-tv 'true movies'.
I definitely feel a bit more rational about the whole thing now.