to be miserable about my work life balance?

[Patch66]

I was made redundant at end Jan from a locally based job where I had been working part time since birth of DD2. I had been looking to increase hours (economic situation prevented this)but would have wanted to do 4 days.

Got a new job in similar field but over an hour commute away. In 'trial' period till late July.

I really don't like the job and my new work life balance. I don't mind the journey and the salary is reasonable but

• I hate the fact that there is a late start/finish time culture and line manager frowns on me starting and finishing early
• I have minimal time with dds
• It's a small team of perfectly nice people but I have little in common with them
• I'm involved in various local community activity, including school governor and am struggling to make meetings

To add to this there's a critical part of project over summer and its dawmning on me that taking leave during August (when dds on school holidays) may be refused.

I'm so far away I won't be able to get back for dds events at school - dd2 starts in September and I know most mums will be around.

I know many people have it much worse than me but this is just making me so miserable. I keep looking out for local jobs but it's hard to find one to cover our costs (I'm the main wage earner).

I know in many ways I am being unreasonable, at least I have a job, but I am desperately seeking a way out ...

I think if you're that unhappy then you need to do something about it pretty quickly. It may be that you are given the boot after the 'trial' period is over anyway, if they sense you aren't committed.

Was the holiday time in August agreed in writing at the time of the job offer? If so, they can't renege on it, that would be breach of contract and actionable by you.

Obviously without knowing your job, I can't give specific advice, but I would suggest that your first port of call is the local jobcentre. Contrary to popular opinion, they are not just there for the unemployed, they have some excellent advisors who can take you through the options of diversifying or even retraining altogether.

I know it may be hard to retrain, if you have financial commitments, but if you sit down and take a long hard look at how you can afford it and what you really want to do with your life, I think things might start to make more sense.

Remember though, at the end of the day your family comes first. They cannot be replaced, a job can. Easier said than done I know, but keep it in mind.

Good luck, let us know how you get on.

Jan C.

To be brutally honest, if you are your family breadwinner it is very ambitious to also want to do community activities like being a school governor as well as being a decent mother to your two young DDs and getting to school events.

Rather than being miserable about this, can you not reprioritise?

I don't think you are being unreasonable; in your situation I think I would be feeling well depressed about the culture at work and the lack of time with DCs. From what you've said, the job doesn't sound very family friendly. Hope you find a way out soon.