or is my H being a complete bloody idiot?

[Numberfour]

I am self employed (childminding). If I take the second last week of August off for leave, I stand to lose a possible £750 income for that week. I am Very Busy over the holiday season.

I proposed we take the following week off, which would include the Bank Holiday Monday (when I never work anyway) and two inset days at the beginning of September. We could come home from our camping trip 2 days before school starts.

(D)H says that I am being selfish and that it is all about me and that he does not want a holiday in September. I explained that it would only be 3 days of that month.

The heated debate reached roof lifting levels. He reckons it is all about me me me and I reckon that if we take off the week I suggest, we lose less money as a family and could have a better holiday.

We are in huge goddam financial shit and every penny counts.

So, am I being a bitch or is he being a fuckwit?

He wants leave when HE wants it, regardless of the consequential financial loss.

He has gone to work this morning without saying a word to me. Great.

What a stupid goddam thing to argue about.

Would he accept the fact that if you go the week you suggest, then he would have to take 4 days leave from work to get a whole week off as BH Monday is in that week.

Whereas if you go the week before he has to take 5 days off.

So by doing your week he will have an extra days leave left to take at another time with you - say at Xmas.

So he saves holiday time and you all save money. Bonus

Sushiqueen, I pointed that out to him and he said that he wanted to end his leave with the BH. His arguments are so ridiculous that I am at a loss. He is behaving, once again, like a petulant child.

The ridiculous thing is that he does not even know when he COULD take leave at work. For all we know "my" week is not possible - he has not even established that yet.

Wow, sorry to hear he is still acting like this!
When me and DP argue it used to go on like this but I've since taken into account he can be a grumpy fart and we love eachother so now I let him blow off steam then after 2 minutes of silence carry on as normal. Works for him.

To be honest I would just ignore it and get on with your plans. Tell your DS it will just be the two of you because "daddy has to work" (or whatever reason you wish) and just move on. Dont mention this argument to your H anymore, just get on with your usual daily routine like nothing has happened.

Sorry its still going on, I'm now wondering if he's having any problems at work & not letting on, making extra grumpy & unreasonable & his ego is bruised anyway, & ( in that stupid male "caveman" way) without you realising (cos he's been an arse & not talking to you about it)

Maybe bringing this up now has added to his stress??, maybe he's worried about taking ANY time off work, or as he's newer to the job, is bottom of the pile when it comes to choice of holiday dates which is already winding him up, & this has just added to it??

I say that, as I've seen my own DH turn into a grumpy unreasonable arse, due to changes at his work....unit closed down, & he;s had to move & commute or lose his job (& his redundancy, as the company played sneaky shits)......I've had several similar sorts of ding dongs with him.....until I stepped back, looked at the bigger picture & realised he was under a LOT of stress, talking to him about his work away from home A family after a few drinks, turns out he HATES his new job, but feels trapped & p'd around by them, & doesn't feel he can ask for time off/shift changes, as they are playing staff off against each other, & he's worried about been out of work

Maybe theres more going on with your H & his work than you know about, & that could explain his unreasonable arsehole behaviour??..........not excuse it mind you, but explain it ??

well, things have calmed down eventually! I think you are spot on, rockinhippy. He is currently on trial for a promotion post so of course is stressed out.

I was like a bull in a china shop and it is not as if I will not be earning at ALL the following week. Just that I will be earning a bit less.

For the sake of World Peace, I have apologised and hope to be able to book our week away tomorrow.

Thanks, everyone. Not the most exciting AIBU!

Now, to apologise to our lovely neighbour who heard my shrieking when he walked past our house last night ..............

Can I just say... do your parents know that you're planning to do this? If you're super busy in that week, it's for a reason!

If you tell them, in the first or second week of July, that you'll be away in August, you might want to brace for some grumpy faces. It won't only be your DH who has to sort leave out and if any are like me, I'd be seriously screwed. With that notice, there's no chance in hell of either me or my husband getting those high demand weeks off so we'd promptly be stressing about who was going to be looking after our DD.

There's not going to be a great chance of them booking holiday clubs and the like at this notice, either.

The week they go back the kids go back to school is better for that reason, too.

I've known since March what my CM's hols were for the year! I'd seriosuly consider chnaging her if she did this to me...

ginny, my contracts allow for 4 weeks' notice of leave. In my last 2 newsletters to parents, I informed them that DH had a new job and that I would not be able to confirm my leave early in the year (he started late March). My parents are asking me when I am taking leave, and I have been pestering DH, too.

If my families needed to give my notice because of this, then so be it. There really is nothing much I can do - I want to take leave when DH is on leave so I have to wait for him to confirm when he is taking leave.

I will let families know as soon as possible, of course.

give ME notice, of course.