to think that if your child is attacking you, you should stop them?

[tutusare4]

Went to see a friend today, she had another friend there too who had her 4 yo dd with her.

At some point, the dd started launching herself at her Mother, scratching her arms (drawing blood) nipping and hitting her hard. The Mother stood there saying "x, stop doing that. X, stop doing that." over and over again, but didn't actually restrain the child, who carried on for a good 10 mins. My friend went to help, but was told in no uncertain terms that she was dealing with it fine. When it was all over, the woman didn't try to tell her dd that what she did had hurt her, or try to say to never do that again, or anything.

I hope I don't come across as being judgey, as I accept that everyone parents their dc's differently, and that's fine, but, why did she not just hold on to her dd's arms? She ended up with deep scratches all over her arms, and bruises from the nipping, and old scratches and bruises could be seen.

Why would anyone let a 4yo do that to them?

What's the betting on the first day of school the child lashes out, and his "victim" whacks him back?

I would have found it impossible to say and do nothing in that situation, whether or not it was any of my business. I simply could not have watched another mother allowing herself to be scratched and bruised and not intervened, in much the same way that I couldn't watch a parent act abusively to a child and not say something. I'm not surprised you felt so shaken by the incident.

Mumsnet solidarity at its best. Thank you for the offers of help if I need it, he's 3 stone heavier and 10" taller than me.
Good thing all that positive and forceful discipline worked when he was smaller.

I would make it my business to speak up if someone was being assaulted in front of me whatever age the attacker.

I see it as my duty as a citizen apart from anything else.

I would not be able to sit by and watch that happen without saying something. I do not like violence at any time, so seeing a 4 year old behave like that would realy grate!
I feel sorry for the rest of her class in September. They wont be learning much more than how to avoid the spoilt violent brat.

Or it could be a huge learning curve in how to deal with a child with special needs.

Not quite the same but my ds 21 months has begun the whole smaking stuff. I hold his hands together, gently while saying no. Works a treat at that moment but later on he will be at it again. I know he will grow out of it.