Okay, first of all, my DH is amazing, but not because of this. He is a wonderful father, very good at his job and very easy to live with and lovely to be around, and in that regard, he is amazing, but this is about something else.
He works long hours, and consequently, because he's not here as often as me (who doesn't work), he doesn't do much around the house. He's simply not here and by the time the children are in bed and we sit down for dinner, everything is done, including dinner cooked/prepped, the only thing left is the dishwasher which will sometimes need unstacking and will always then need stacking.
Because he doesn't do much else, and we even get the lawns mowed and the cars washed (which are the "traditional" male things to do around the house!) so that he can spend more quality time with DC's on the weekend, we basically fell into a routine where its his "job" to unstack the dishwasher (usually while I'm putting the finishing touches on dinner, so we talk and catch up while we are doing it) and then stack it and wipe around the side. It takes about 10-15 minutes tops, he's happy doing it, I'm very happy that he does it, and everything is fine.
What I do find slightly miff-making however is the comments that it triggers when we have either set of parents staying with us, or various other house guests. Whether its my parents or his, they bleat on and on about how "well trained" he is and how "helpful" and wonderful and how the sun literally shines out of his ass simply because he knows how to put some dirty dishes in the dishwasher and turn it on.
Is he well trained? If so, who trained him? Who is he helping? Everyone, obviously, but the implication is its me because for some reason it is assumed it is my job.
Just for clarification, I dont think its to do with me being a SAHM, as I have only been one for a couple of years and before that I worked full time and commuted like he did. Yet still we got all this "oh, he's so good! Oh Sloany, he's one out of a box isn't he. Oh wow, you do have him well trained!"
This is not a rant about him in any way, we are both happy with the balance of who does what as it stands at the moment, its a rant about people's attitudes to men contributing to the household. I can't help but feel these kinds of attitudes perpetuate a society where it is assumed that all household tasks default to the one who doesn't have a penis and any that are carried out by the person with the penis are a massive favour to person without.
AIBU to think that as it is his house too, he eats the food as well, dirties the dishes too etc its not massively unusual that he should, and does, contribute to the cleaning up that goes with that?