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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

my neighbour (again)

29 replies

IHeartKittensAndWine · 30/06/2010 13:35

Some of you may remember this thread about my upstairs neighbour asking if her children could use my garden over the summer. Well, it's getting a little wierd and I'm looking for a bit of perspective. This might be a bit long - sorry.

Because the weather's been good, DH and I have had friends over for salads/BBQs in the garden a couple of times(and yes I have picked up all dirty knickers etc off the bedroom floor first ). We try to be considerate, so keep bbq/cigerette smoke at the far end from windows and bring people in by about tennish. The first time we did this, upstairs neighbour stuck her head out of the window to say hello and started a lengthy and fairly random conversation. We found this wierd as she's never met our guests, never spoken to DH and this is London not anywhere rural so that kind of familiarity doesn't really happen. But not exactly remarkable.

We had guests over again on Saturday night. As ww were eating, she opened the window and shouted out "I'm coming to your front door". Puzzled, I went in to speak to to her and she started having a go and us having people smoke in the garden. Because "it's the bad example you're setting for my children".

On Monday, one of the neighbourhood police team give me a call to discuss another ongoing issue (can't describe here as will probably out me in RL). In the course of the call he mentioned that they received a complaint about cannabis smoking in my garden on the Saturday night. Obviously he won't say who made it. Now, a couple of our friends do smoke a bit of weed, and also roll their own, so may have had a "spicy" roll up or two IYSWIM, but I didn't notice anything as not exactly a huge circle of people passing them around and I was running around alot. Which makes me think either she spent the whole evening watching us like a hawk, or the complaint was just malicious. The policeman was very lovely, and said they won't persue a complaint left a day later about something which may or may not have happened on private property.

Then this lunchtime said neighbour knocks on my door and asks if I'd have her DCs over after school for "an hour or two to play in the garden" so that she can run some errands. I explain not as I have a conference call from 230-430 and work which will need to be completed urgently after that, so can't supervise (and the place is a tip). She then looks very put out and mutters something I don't ask her to repeat.

This is really starting to bother me, not least because we had issues in our last place with an abusive neighbour. DH just thinks that I'm being pedantic and paranoid, but then a) he is in the world, but most definately not of it and b) he's never in the flat, certainly not during the day. My mum says that she's trying to be friends, but is socially awkard, and that if I'm around a lot in daytime (I often work from home) she might have me down as a SAHM and not get why I'm rebuffing her.

Just looking for thoughts, really

OP posts:
oiteach · 30/06/2010 16:13

Does she also remonstrate with people smoking in the street? Or kissing in public etc?

Odd. Avoid her and make sure that if you ever see her with a sharp object you RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!

GloriousGoosebumps · 01/07/2010 15:16

Perhaps your neighbour managed to bully the previous occupiers of your flat into allowing her to use the garden as her own and she's assumed that you would be equally
weak generous.

Like everyone else, my advice is to keep well away from her or you'll never again be able to call your garden your own.

GiddyPickle · 01/07/2010 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 01/07/2010 17:58

Avoid her like the plague! Every time she complains about something like smoking, remind her it is a legal activity and then tell her you have to go and close the door.

DO NOT ASSOCIATE with her at all beyond the necessary.

If she tries to invite herself/kids over just, 'No. That won't work' and leave it.

You don't owe her apologies, justifications or excuses.

If she wants a garden she needs to move.

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