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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to speak to my painter/ decorator for the rest of his time working on my house

25 replies

grapeandlemon · 30/06/2010 11:18

because he is unable to talk to my eyes and spends the whole of the conversation gawping up and down at the exact area below my neck to my knees. After 2 days of this he is actually making me feel ill.

I am upstairs on here now and I actually have lots of housework to do but he is just leering at me so I have to leave

OP posts:
cocobongo · 30/06/2010 11:23

No, speak to him and tell him to stop doing it. This is your house, you should not be made to feel uncomfortable. Be upfront, then the onus is on him and he will be uncomfortable. Practice, "Please stop staring at my breasts". The more direct you are, the better.

And if he continues to do it, tell him he is off the job.

Original poster
grapeandlemon · 30/06/2010 11:27

Really? Do you think?

I would love to have the nerve to say that, he is really pissing me off

OP posts:
Maryqueenofchocs · 30/06/2010 11:34

The next time he talks to your chest, bend your knees and make a point of saying 'hello, my eyes are here...!'.

Make him feel uncomfotable.

Original poster
grapeandlemon · 30/06/2010 11:38

OK I will. I will do it.

He makes me feel sick and he keeps trying to make conversation with me, when my daughter is here he does it with her too and I don't like it

OP posts:
2shoes · 30/06/2010 11:39

does he have a boss, if so ring him

Longtalljosie · 30/06/2010 11:39

You shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable in your own home. How much more has he got left to do?

lolabanola · 30/06/2010 11:43

I'd point it would to him, he'll want the ground to swollow him whole then! Make him feel as uncomfortable as he makes you feel. Are you sure he's not just shy though and can't make eye contact?!

Lucy85 · 30/06/2010 11:50

Ummm, maybe he's shy and can't make eye contact ....

Original poster
grapeandlemon · 30/06/2010 11:51

No he has no boss as such, he has done work for a lot of DH friends over the years and some family and comes across as a quite friendly guy, but he makes my skin crawl and like I said he is always trying to make convo with my daughter and asked for a cuddle from her yesterday

oh Gosh it sounds awful written down , I just want him out 2 days left

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 30/06/2010 11:52

I'd stick it out then and not have him back ever again. How old is your daughter?

Original poster
grapeandlemon · 30/06/2010 11:54

she is 3, I think he is odd and I will certainly not have him back again. I will say something iff he leers again

OP posts:
traceybath · 30/06/2010 11:56

Just be a bit careful if you're in the house alone with him and make sure he doesn't have a set of keys.

Sorry - really don't want to worry you but he sounds very creepy.

lovelymama · 30/06/2010 11:58

he should not be asking for cuddles with your daughter. or looking at your chest. but i can see why you don't want to confront him

the decorator who is doing our house tried to touch my baby bump the other day and i thought he was going to shake my hand so took his hand and shook it. then he tried to touch it again and i just shook his hand again. how dare people intrude in our lives like that?!!

whatname · 30/06/2010 12:02

maybe he's got a dodgy eye?

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 30/06/2010 12:02

I'd call him on it. Creeps like that rely on the fact that women are socialised to be nice and polite and not make a fuss.

Original poster
grapeandlemon · 30/06/2010 12:12

I know, bless her she went to put her arms around him as he was leaning into her and I just made a distraction big time.

I just thought how dare you intrude on her like that - she was happily playing dress-up and he just bowled in. Because he is familiar she was v friendly to him.

This together with the incessant leering at my breasts is making me very

counting down

OP posts:
lulabellarama · 30/06/2010 12:21

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
grapeandlemon · 30/06/2010 12:24

I guess you had to be there lula, like I said it was this coupled with the fact of what he was doing with me.

Conversation was OK but asking for cuddles a no-no in my book

OP posts:
5Foot5 · 30/06/2010 13:20

What Lucy85 said. Are you sure he is looking at your breasts?

cheesesarnie · 30/06/2010 13:26

if its really as bad as youve said you have to say something or ask him to leave-how can you not?you are either worried or not.

JGBMum · 30/06/2010 13:31

Can you invite a friend over for the afternoon so that you are not in the house on your own with him?

NarkyPuffin · 30/06/2010 13:49

A lot of people can do painting and decorating. The good ones get work because people feel comfortable having them in their homes. If you are sure it's not an eye contact thing- some people find it difficult, though looking up would be better than down- have a word.

vaunieathome · 30/06/2010 14:38

I have a friend who had a similar problem with a man just gawping. After a pause in conversation (which he seemed to have missed as his mind was clearly elsewhere ie in her cleavage) she uttered the immortal line "They are not going to speak, you know". Hilarious and effective!!

ifiwereamillionaire · 30/06/2010 14:42

vaunieathome that was bloody hilarious PMSL total classic line and I can't wait to find an occasion to use it

lolabanola · 30/06/2010 15:34

If he's asking your daughter for cuddles and creeping you out that much then I would get hin out of your house, job done or not. Find someone else to do his work as he sounds worrying!

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