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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to kill someone, anyone.

30 replies

foureleven · 29/06/2010 19:21

I am in a murderous mood. I get PMT about once a year and when I get it I GET IT bad.

So, Im dealing with a naked 5 year old who has snuck in to the garden to make a mud pie. And a pre-teen who wants to ask my advice on what to do about the fact that her hair wont grow quick enough and 'all' the girls at her school are laughing at her about it (which is a huge exageration of course)She is also slyly sounding me out over her 'holiday shopping' requests.

DP comes home and excitedly tells me that he saw a nutritionist today who, I am pretty convinced, is about 21 and a size 8 with blond hair and feux secretary glasses who's sole aim in life is to steal my man... (first thought of such a nature I have had in the 2 years we've been together) Apparently she has told him that eating carbs after 5pm is pretty much on par with eating Mcdonalds for breakfast lunch and dinner.
So he has suggested that on her advice - the carb fearing bitch - we shouldnt have carbs for dinner any more.

Oh well thats just fucking great. Not good enough that he has a meal that would put heston and delia to shame every night, oh no, now it has to also revolve around some kind of steamed fucking fish and green beans...

I may actually go searching for a Claire Knaw thread just so I can vent some of my anger.... Grrrrrr

Umm... thanks for reading

OP posts:
Original poster
foureleven · 29/06/2010 19:23

Oh... while I was writing angrily DP was folding the washing, dressing the littlest one for bed (not even his) and setting both the children in front of their favorite film to watch 10 mins before bed...

And so now Im crying.

Hormones!!!!

OP posts:
vicbar · 29/06/2010 19:23

Why does it always fall on us mums to deal with this crap. Im in a murderous mood too so malteasers for dinner for me.
Hope it gets better

mumbar · 29/06/2010 19:39

foureleven rant away at last your not actually murdering anyone while your doing it better to rant on here than at your dp who sounds lovely btw!!!

Have a good evening. are there carbs in choc and wine???

Original poster
foureleven · 29/06/2010 20:14

haha there most definitley ARE apparently.

Tomorrow Im going to cook his favorite, lasagne, and then sit there and eat it in front of him while he gets served a handful of rocket and a can of tuna. Pah!

and to top it all off..... Eastenders has been cancelled AGAIN!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
foureleven · 29/06/2010 20:18

Oh... hes just mentioned something about borrowing his ex wifes hedge trimmer for the garden and I said I dont want anything off of the evil witch and if he did borrow if from her I would kill myself with it...

He looked at me in the way that the other slaters look at Jean when she says something wacky... Umm... I need to go where there are no people until tomorow...

OP posts:
Snobear4000 · 29/06/2010 20:20

Eastenders wouldn't make you more miserable now, would it?

compo · 29/06/2010 20:20

Perhaps tuna and rocket might control your inner rage?

Stands further away

Or maybe wine and galaxy

Original poster
foureleven · 29/06/2010 20:25

youre right snobear, it probably would. I bet the nutritionist bitch is eating galaxy and drinking wine as we speak.

OP posts:
jazzchickens · 29/06/2010 20:41

If it was my DH - I'd let the nutritionist have him and carry on eating my crisp butties

Original poster
foureleven · 29/06/2010 20:47

heehee he really is very lovely, I wouldnt give him up for a chip butty... actually, the mood im in today id probably give him AND the kids away for a chip butty!
Id like to see the nutiricionist manage 5 and 11 year old girls on her flippin non carb diet.

Apparently she said you dont do anything after dinner so you dont need the carbs for energy... yeah whatever you naive child. Maybe you dont do anything after dinner maybe he doesnt do anything after dinner... but I have to do the bedtime dance with a couple of crazy children... and for that I need carbs. And lard.

OP posts:
jazzchickens · 29/06/2010 21:02

Ahhh well now you have to feel sorry for her as she clearly does not have a life. If your DP is serious - let him know that lack of carbs at dinner will mean you have to lie down all evening. We'll see how long it lasts. My guess is you'll be round at the chippy before you can say mushy peas.

ruthosaurus · 29/06/2010 21:13

You can ignore nutritionists, it's dieticians who know about all this sort of thing. Enjoy your lasagna! Mind you, I am overweight, so not the best person to advise on this. I bet I have more fun than Gillian Mckeith does, though.

Fair play to your DO for organising stuff tonight, though, bless him.

I'd go with the galaxy and snarling diet.

ruthosaurus · 29/06/2010 21:14

DP, obv.

MinnieMummy · 29/06/2010 21:22

Tell him it's not true!! Our bodies burn calories at a pretty even rate all day and night. So [raspberry] to the silly mare...

bumpybecky · 29/06/2010 21:25

are there carbs in chocolate, ice cream or wine?

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 29/06/2010 21:26

At least you know when you're B a bit U.

Whenever I have PMT I'm oblivious to it...

(Though given my username and lack of AF, has been a while)

Ronaldinhio · 29/06/2010 21:28

you don't have pmt you are just fucked off

he'll soon grow tired of a bowl of spinach and some poached salmon 5 times a week....

take wine apply liberally avec cheese

onepieceoflollipop · 29/06/2010 21:30

Go to the chippy. Buy whatever you want (large portions only). return home via a shop that sells lettuces. (and wine)

Serve dp's dinner. Just rinse the lettuce under the tap. If you can't be bothered just rip off a few of the outer leaves.

drink your wine, eat your chips etc and go to bed.

Obviously he will be raring to go and lively after a carb free dinner so can do all the evening household jobs.

onepieceoflollipop · 29/06/2010 21:32

becky there are carbs in places you wouldn't dream of.

Bizarrely though, very few in double cream so I am told. So on a low carb diet yogurt is V Bad as are so called healthy starchy veggies such as carrots. But you can have double cream

Original poster
foureleven · 29/06/2010 21:45

And you can squirt squirty cream in to your mouth whilst concealed behind the fridge door, oh yes!
Thanks Mns you made a miserable old cow not so miserable

Not quite ready to yet

OP posts:
marriednotdead · 29/06/2010 21:53

All carbs in desserts are cancelled out by the evilness otherwise known as Diet Coke, surely you all know this

Original poster
foureleven · 29/06/2010 21:56

Oh diet coke wasnt missed by the queen of nutrition, dont you worry.
I have calmed down but ealrier on I could have happily tracked her down and screamed, if you can look after him beeter than me then HAVE HIM!!!!

Hahahaha can now laugh about it... She could have been 60 years old for all I know!

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 29/06/2010 21:57
Sidge · 29/06/2010 22:02

But if you have no carbs you have no energy for sex after the children are in bed, surely?

lisbey · 29/06/2010 22:11

Where did he meet this "nutritionist"? She know about as much about nutrition as the the "gynecologist" I met on holiday in 1989 did about ....