to be almost in tears at the thought of going back to work next week

[whoneedssleepanyway]

i just can't bear the thought of it.

i am being pathetic it is only 3 days a week but i feel really sad. i didn't feel like this when i went back after DD1, but DD2 was such an unhappy little soul for the first 8 months and is now a changed child and an absolute joy, i just don't want to leave her.

made myself cry properly now .

It's not pathetic, I felt the same when I went back in Jan 09 (3 days) and on Tuesdays I have to leave DD at nursery and her little downcast face breaks my heart

You do get used to it, some people find they love being back at work, others live with it but it does get easier to deal with. Give yourself a while and see how it goes is all I can suggest.

YANBU

I'm in tears too when I think about going back to work in 2 months' time, nevermind next week! Good luck!

Do you HAVE to go back?

thanks.

Rockbird i know what you mean abouot the downcast face, i left her at nursery this morning for the second time and she just dissolved and it was all i could do not to do the same.

Butterpie sadly yes i do, DH has started up his own business with another family member and at the moment we really need my salary.

about

Hopefully the business will take off and you can all give up paid work and just watch the money roll in from the business!

(Did that help? I feel for you- I'm the one running a business here, so I get to work from home while dp goes to work)

Think of the positives:

it is so much easier returning to work in the summer because you don't have dark mornings to face, you can go for a walk in your lunch hour and let the sun perk you up

your dd will have a blast at nursery

you will get adult chat

you will appreciate the days at home all the more

you will have money hopefully to buy yourself some new work clothes

the office Xmas party

drinking coffee hot

You see , loads of positives

hugs.
I gave up work this maternity leave though, and am in tears about the fact that I have to stay at home all the time now. So there is no perfect solution and 3 days seems like a nice compromise.
Hope it goes well.

YANBU. I'm going back 2.5 days when DD is six months old. I'm a teacher, so with the planning, marking, meetings and open evenings it'll be more like 3.5.

I'm trying but kind of failing not to resent DH for making no effort to get a better paid job (I've been the main earner for 4 years now and we'll still be earning equally when I go back PT). We'll only just have enough to get by as it is and I feel that I ought to look for FT work. I'm also fed up with the looks and remarks among my mummy friends who can afford to take a year off or not go back at all.

Sorry for nicking your thread. Touched a nerve.

Im also going back to work next week unfortunately full time and i have been having a really horrible time this week everytine i think of leaving DD with someone else 5 days a week i feel like im drowning under my own grief she is only 6 months and i keep looking at her and saying ' i didnt have you for some else to look after you' even typing this is making me feel weepy but unfortunately due to circumstances in the last few months i have to work

I know what you mean, I'm spending the last few weeks of my mat leave worrying about going back to work. BUT imagine how much would it would be if you didn't have a job to go back to and instead were worrying about how you were going to pay your mortgage.

Tarty I totally know what you mean, i have been the main earner and will still earn more than DH when i go back, hopefully his business will take off he is working really hard on it. They are little for such a short time and would have been nice to have had the time with them both now.

On the plus point she started walking this week just before i go back so didn't miss her taking her first steps at nursery!

Thanks all for the reassurance, i know it will be hard for the first month or so but will get easier, and as you say toucancancan at least i have a job to go back to.

YANBU, it's hard but that's a good post from Compo and fair point from toucancancan.

All I can say is that it will get better. Honest. It doesn't seem that way but it's true.

As a CM it is not uncommon for me to be reassuring the new child AND mum, with mum crying more than the mindee even during settling in time... I so feel what you are going through and it must be so hard to leave your little pride and joy in someone else's care for the first time.

Going back to work can be a big challenge too, as one often loses some self confidence when one has been away from the office for a while.

I ensure mum gets little text msgs during the day, and I email photos of what we are doing throughout the day too, from my iphone.. so mum knows little one is fine and happy This helps mums a lot, especially when first going back to work.

Try and focus on the positives, let your nursery know how you are battling leaving her so you can get necessary support from them too. It makes a big difference x

Hi Whoneedsleep... When I went back after mat leave I was going into a brand new job as my place of work shut down a week into my mat leave and I got redeployed. I remember sitting in tears on the Sunday night dreading going to a new place the following day. Awfull. I can understand what you are feling.

I felt the same with DS2 but it was worse because I had yet another job by then which meant I had to stay away from home occasionly.

DH cuddled me and said soothing words.

However once I got back into a routine everything was great. Happy babies, I sometimes worked a couple of long days to get 3 or 4 days off.

Once you get your routine established I'm guessing you will be fine. If not after a few months consider your options.

Not at all pathetic, My first day back after 6 months off with DD, I had to pull over to cry on my way into work.

Didn't want to do it in front of her, but felt so upset at leaving her to go back to work.

I'm in a very similar situation to a lot of you as I was the main earner and had to go back to work full-time (although do 10 hour days so only have to work for 4 days a week) when my DD was only 4 months old - otherwise we wouldn't have been able to pay mortgage/bills.

I have an excellent CM and am really lucky that I also have my SIL look after DD for two days a week. Also helped that CM had no other children initially on the days she had DD so she had 1-2-1 attention for a while. Now at a year she has other children so DD gets the interaction aswell.

DD is a very rounded child already and is happy with everyone! She loves people generally and is a joy to be around. So there are definitely positives to being back at work.

On the flip-side, I don't like my job at all, work from home all day on my own (but due to company policy I'm not allowed to have dependents at home as part of the working from home agreement) and only do this because we need the money. But I feel better knowing that DD is having a great time!

JenniPenni, what a lovely CM you are! I used to text my CM regularly when DD first started with her but don't feel the need so much now. Instead I panic if she texts me because I imagine that something has happened! The children you look after (and the Mums - as this thread is about the Mums!), are lucky to have you as a CM!