to think that the more is not always the merrier?

[DetectivePotato]

I have a fab group of friends that I adore and I love it that we are pretty social too.

However sometimes it would be quite nice if it was just a few of us and not a massive crowd. There are a couple of friends who have the motto "the more, the merrier" and invite loads of other people too. I find it quite stressful in big groups. I can't hear people properly if too many are talking and it just all sounds like noise so I spend half the time nodding along when I have no idea what someone is actually saying (I'm not deaf but I have tinnitus and M.E. which makes it hard to concentrate).

Sometimes something is arranged with a few friends, fantastic I think, then a couple of others invite their other friends too and once again it turns into a massive event.

Some people have stopped going over to someones house quite so much as they find it stressful, especially when we have all of our toddlers there too. It turns into a bloody nightmare. Now there is a (day) trip coming up and my friend has invited so many people (including 1 person she said there was no way she was asking) it looks like its going to be at least 15 adults and up to 30 toddlers!! My idea of hell. There is no way we will be able to actually stick together, and as we are having a meal the night before and everyone else will be drinking (I'm pregnant so I won't be) it has been suggested that I will be looking after the kids more as everyone will be hung over. Not a chnace was my reply!

Am I being a moody mare or are there others who don't always want to do everything as a big group?

I don't think you're being unreasonable. There's a time for following the herd and there are times when it's nice to be one on one. Sometimes it does get silly that everyone has to invite everyone for fear of someone feeling aggreived at being left out. And everyone turns up because they're worried that the others will gossip about them if they don't... LOL

If you don't want to participate in the upcoming day-trip no-one's forcing you. Say you'll give it a miss. And maybe organise your own get-together of just one or two close friends, making it very clear that you don't want anyone else involved because of the hearing/ME problems.... set your own agenda. Be your own person.

Thanks. I've thought of making my own 'occasion/day' where I can invite who I want to. It just usually ends up someone saying, "oh I've also invited so and so". I'll have to be strong and say I am keeping it small.