joint birthday party for my 3 and 4 year olds

[eightiesqueen]

Hello all

This is my first time posting and im really hoping you guys will help.
My toddlers both have july bdays. DS is 4 and DD is 3. I have stupidly booked my local showcase cinema for a Toy story 3 party and given out invitations (DS found them and decided to smuggle into nursery). My dilemma is how can i make clear/get away with not paying for adults too. All the previous cinema party stuff is about older kids. Bearing in mind kids ages, they are too young to stay but already paying about £15 per kid plus granparents and aunties etc at adult prices but cannot afford for other parents too. HELP! am totally stuck and panicking now. thanks.

AGH! I see your problem.

I think if I got an invitation for this party for my three year old then I would be unsure what I should do and would probably ask you. I wouldn't want/let her go to the cinema without me as I would worry that she would be scared - there is always a scary bit - and then I wouldn't be there.

I think that I might assume that I was supposed to come and that you would be paying for me to come. Sorry

What did the invitations actually say? Are they special cinema ones?

Thanks. I know thats how i would feel too. In fact a mum did ask me if she was meant to come too and under pressure i just said "if you want to" but realistically i cant/dont want to look after the other kids as i dont even know them (its a private nursery so we just all drop/collect at different times)

I kinda printed off a little description from cinema website about party procedure and craftily added a sentence about "additional adult tickets are available for purchase" but actual invitations dont say anything and i thought it was too rude to straight out write 'im only payig for the kid'!
Im gonna have to provide some extra party food for adults anyway. Adult tickets would drive the cost into £100's. Wish id stuck to bloody soft play now!

Hiya

I hate to add to your problems but if you are expecting a parent to come with their child, have you thought about any siblings? They might not be very happy if Mum and brother/sister are off to watch Toy Story 3 and they can't go or there's the time old problem of not having child care at that time.

I would imagine the parents of the children invited will be looking for clarification and hopefully will contact you soon.

If it were me in that situation and I hadn't met you then I would probably just decline the invitation as I'd be too embarrassed to ask.

Are there going to be other people in the cinema (paying public) or do you have the cinema exclusively

How much adult supervision were you planning on having? At this age at least some of them will want to go to the loo during the film, or need taking out if they're scared.

You mention grandparents/aunties, so why not rope them in as helpers and get them to help supervision. Then if a parent asks, you can tell them you've got that covered.But if a parent insists on coming, then you might have to stump up. Not many kids of this age are happy to be left at a party without a parent.

Cinema isnt private, they didnt have that option so there will be paying public too. There kinda would be enough adults to help but again its just other adults that are not well known to guest children. I guess its only a real big problem for the nursery friends as i dont know kids/parents that well. I did also include a little note in invitation with my name number and if they had any concerns.

I was also thinking about the sibling thing but im just thinking if it was my child i wouldn't expect siblings to be paid for too although the lack of childcare may mean us being a no show.

I just have a horrible feeling about the whole thing now and you guys are right there's a whole 'embarssment' tinge to the party now.. It seems too late to change anything now as invitations have gone out and deposit paid. I could just about stump up for a some adults but no way for all.
Am really sad now and dont want it to be total flop. I was trying not to be cheapo and do £1 morning showing and noiw mighta ruined the whole thing.Sigh
Thanks guys.

That's brilliant peppa! I too would much rather hang around with the other parents than watch the film.

I think you need to clarify the whole thing with the parents really. I'm with Lisaoz in that I probably would just say we couldn't come, especially if I didn't know you personally. i just wouldn't want my dd to be on her own i the cinema or to have to pay for myself to go.

Thanks peppa x thats actually not a bad idea .Its just so awkward to explain it to parents so its all understood before the day cos I can imagine me still end up whipping out my credit card to cover any embarassment on the day. I think cos its just such a mix of people i.e my friends and their kids, family and then nursery friends who are good friends but we parents dont really know each other as we all pop in at different times.

I hadn't changed my mind about party really but hadnt read through the pack info thingy properly. Just wrote names on invites one evening cos DS spotted them and just did it to shut him up. He then took to nursery. Its my own falut cos i left booking with DH after initial chat with cinema manager while i took DD to toilet. Manager dint make it clear about adults and DH didnt clarify and the small print is REALLY small!

I just phoned cinema last night and asked if i could transfer deposit money into cinema vouchers and cancel the party. Am thinking i could tell parents cinema double booked. They will let me know today. If not, i might wait to see if they get in touch and then explain Peppa's plan to them.

I now need to possibly look for another venue for end of july. Dunno if its my pmt and im overreacting but i just feel so awful and guilty.