to let XH carry out his threat?

[macdoodle]

just a little fantasy though I know he has no intention
He was/is a nasty abusive twat, now works away, messes about seeing DC, lots of shite, doesnt pay child support (apart from all the debt he left me with) etc etc etc!

He had them last sunday for fathers day, and is off again next week, we have had plans for all day tomorrow, and I told him so a over a week ago, asked him if he wanted to see them today if he is away next week, he was too busy today "doing his housework"

Tonight he has left DD1 2 messages asking if she would like to spend tomorrow with him "if she wants to", "if mummy will let her", she hasnt heard them, and I have taken the phone off the hook, so now he starts with the abusive texts to me!

He has been away almost all of this yr, I look after the DC all the time, support them, love them, oh yes work, pay all his debt, my bills, support the DC, do everysinglething!

Have had a crappy day, DD2 not well, up late last night (friend had an emergency ended up with her DD here),girls playing up all day, tired, XH has been doing his fecking houseowrk (he has a lovely 2bed flat), my house is a tip from hell,he has been to the pub, and basically does what he wants!

One of his texts tonight was threatening he would have custody of the girls and live on the house and I could have the flat!

AIBU to just a little bit want to take him up on it, have his life nice flat, no debt, no responsibility, no non sleeping children, no early mornings, a social life, to just want to run away from it all

I know he has no intention of doing it (he thinks it will freak me out), he has never had the girls to sleep over, never had them for more than a few hrs, has no idea whatsover how to look after them, and I adore them and would never give them up, but AIBu to find it just a teeny bit tempting

YANBU

How about suggesting a trial weekend, watch him run!

Ask him to carry out his threat and he will run a mile as CarGirl says. I had the same with XH and my son, threatening to take him from Y7, well I am still waiting. They are complete twats these men, all talk and no action. He wouldnt know how to look after your DD permanently, but certainly enjoys making you worry about it. I told my XHW that her husband was an arse. YANBU

oh I AM ignoring it, am used to his antics by now (we have been seperated 4 years), I am just such a different person (as are DD's) when he is not around, I have been screaming and shouting at them all day, feel awful and just think fine you have them see how you do (and a tiny part wonders whether he is right and he will do better, though I do know thats his past abuse talking in my head), and the thought of just me in a nice modern tidy clean flat and a good nights sleep and a lie in is just so appealing

Haha...it's the classic line that my ex uses when I complain to him that he is not pulling his weight - 'If you don't like it I'll have her full time!'. Bearing in mind that he can't even clean her teeth when he has her I think there is little hope of him doing all that is needed to look after her. I do feel tempted to call his bluff just so he realises what being a parent is all about. But I wouldn't do it to DD, it would be mean.

macdoodle if he is leaving abusive messages I would be tempted to show them to the police. Sorry you have had such a rotten day, hope dd feeling better soon.

Tell him you will not stand for his threats and abuse any longer and will take legal advice and report this to the police. Any more of his crap- actually do it. He knows he can still wind you up and will continue to do so given the chance.

This thread is 12 years old so the op's children are adults now 🤣