In having the holiday before I ask him to move out?

[vintagewarrior]

Me and dp have gone downhill steadily since the birth of ds 2 years ago. Keep talking but not much getting resolved. We are going on holiday on Monday for a week, as usual everything been left to me to buy and pack etc. After a big row this afternoon I really cannot see a way forward. After suffering bad pnd and few other health problems, I have been really looking forward to a break. Now can I really go, knowing that once we get back I'm going to ask him to leave? Added complication being we are going with friends??
AIBU in not saying anything until we get back?? He is aware it's got to this point, but not that I've made my mind up?? Thanks in advance for your opinions, am really struggling with this.

Maybe the holiday will help put some perspective on things and help you properly make up your mind? maybe give it that one last chance??
If you are still suffering PND then everything feels like an insurmountable problem and it seems impossible to make any kind of decision so I would humbly recommend going on the holiday and taking it from there! I hope you manage to have a nice time and good luck xx

Personally, I think you should tell him and give him the option of whether he wants to go or not.

I think that you will have a miserable time if you go, with you knowing that you're going to split up, but not having told him, which means that your friends will have a horrible time too.

I agree with Littlefish.

I think it's only reasonable and mature to be totally open about it. How can you go away for a week, with him and with friends, knowing that on your return you'll ask him to leave? If that's how you feel, tell him now. He has a right to know, and your friends have a right to a holiday that isn't blighted by an undercurrent of bad feeling.

I imagine this was the position my BIL was in. We went on holiday and he and my sister split (his decision) as soon as they got back. She was VERY VERY hurt about the way it was done and I know she would have prefered the truth up front.

Your choice though, only you truely know the full situ.

I agree with cheekymonk; maybe this holiday will give you a different perspective (or not, but either way, you'll know). Could you talk to him and tell him that you feel this holiday is make or break for your marriage?

Peering has my vote, that way you're being honest but still get to go away

Thanks v much for replies. He isn't totally in the dark on this, have discussed him moving out before. I am on ad's not sure if in a position to make a massive decision. But his snappiness and resentment due to lack of sex is holding me back from getting better I think. Think I'll talk to him later. Fingers crossed x