To wonder 'why' men actually do this?

[BranchingOut]

Yesterday I was walking up to my local shops, pushing the pram with my nine month old baby. It was a hot afternoon and I was strolling along in a long summer skirt and white linen top. Nothing I was doing, wearing or carrying was in any way out of the ordinary.

Suddenly a white van went past and out of the open window a man stuck his head out, yelled "Pikey!" at me, then carried on his way.

I was so astounded that I actually looked around to see if there was anyone else he was yelling at - but the street was quiet.

Now I am old enough and wise enough for this not to upset me, but I am mystified as to:

How he could make a snap judgement about me, having only seen my back, while travelling at 30 mph, then get himself together to lean out and shout the appropriate word in time?

What actually goes through someone's mind when they decide to do this?

Why is it always men and never women? I have never been randomly abused by a woman from a car window, whereas a man once even shouted "Move your silly cu*t" when I wasn't crossing the road fast enough for his liking!

Not from a van, but two boys of about fourteen walked past me when I was eight months pregnant, and one of them said "I'd like to fuck you so hard I'd give your baby brain damage".

No doubt he would pass Snobear's test.

XP used to open his car window and shout the most random things at people just to see their expressions of surprise. Sometimes offensive, mostly not.

I don't know that he ever thought anything though ever

Booboobedoo - at that.

Although "is that what happened to you, then?" might be an appropriate riposte I suppose.

The insults are easier in some ways. Biking home from work at dusk, had bike lights on and was wearing a head torch. Some lad decided to shout "you've got a light, on yer head, a light on yer head?". I mean, what's that all about? Did he think I didn't know?

booboo

Bluddy hell you lot get some cussing!!..usually I just get 'cheer-up love!'...or the occassional 'Beautiful' or 'Nice tits'..

I've discovered that smiling sweetly and blowing the arrogant twats a kiss generally leaves them seeting and speachless!! LOL!! Plus then I haven't let myself down by getting down to their level!

I can't even remember my reaction now.

I had antenatal depression, and that time is all a bit of a blur. I was not channelling BalloonSlayer-style wit! (Good riposte btw).

The boys round here think it's funny if you get angry.

The head-torch one is quite funny in it's randomness.

Last year I went to Tesco (where I have been many times before and since) wearing a T-shirt and a long indian crinkle skirt and trainers.

While walking around the shop I was very aware that I was being followed around the entire shop by the Somalian security guard, so I left the shop without buying anything as he made me feel very uneasy, went shopping there a few days later wearing the same jeans and trainers with a pair of jeans instead of the skirt and he didn't even bat an eyelid.

Some men are just stupid.

Apart from nice WVM I would suspect that it is due to such persons having diminutive wedding tackle, that way they hopefully can't add to the gene pool.

Just wiggle your little finger at them. It's the best insult, also it is silent if you have a little on in the car with you. I did it when a DRIVING INSTRUCTER screamed at me becuase he thought I was in the wrong lane. I wasn't.

When wiggling my finger, I couldn't hide the expression of utter, pure glee on my face. I think it added to his rage. Ha.

Booboobeedoo it saddens me that we have left the Days of Yore, when you could have grabbed the fop by the scruff of the neck and "box'd his ears".

I've always wanted to do that, preferably in my scullery.

Zeno try it out at the library one day

Totally totally agree about the crime of 'walking while female'. I've noticed that loads of men - and not just the WVMs - feel that women walking brazenly along with nobody with them are somehow comitting an offence, to be punished by their wit or abuse.

I'm PG just now and my boobs have doubled in size, I have bought myself some lovely floaty tops this week THANK GOD I no longer have to face the utter humiliation of the looks, open double-takes and indeed slowed down cars I was the butt of last week in my old, figure hugging vests.

And they give you this look, as if to say 'well it's your fault love, if you will insist on having breasts and walking at the same time'.

Motherfuckers, yet when I'm with DP of course I could wear nobbut a Brazilian thong and not one of the spineless tossers would even glance at me.

AAARGGH.

I have never had any abuse shouted at me in public - I dont know if I should be pleased or feel left out!. I would be a good person to make fun of too being over wieght, with red hair, and clearly a young mother!
I got caught on the googlecam pics walking my children to nursery and I can think of so many things to shout at myself!.

Thank you ladies. I am thrilled by this warm MN response to my maiden thread on AIBU!

I am sincerely looking forward to that special judgement day for WVM when he is vigorously assaulted in the groin by a scottish wildcat, while being laughed at by a lairy white van woman.

I am definitely not afraid to give as good as I get (he was too fast for me this time!) and look forward to using choice forms of retort as suggested by helpful MNers.

I think a bit of WVM leery abuse might actually give me a confidence boost! The brain damaging baby comment was vile though.