Was I unreasonable ?

[Snowsquonk]

Earlier in the week my year 6 child brought home a letter saying the children could be collected from school early on Wednesday so they could watch the football. Child was upset because school have used World Cup as a theme and she's bored with it. I suggested she could talk to her head teacher about how she feels but she said she couldn't and wrote a letter instead. It's not a rude letter - it's her opinion that there's been too much emphasis on football and instead of sending children home early the school could have invited children to stay and watch it after school.

head has gone totally mad, accused me of allowing my child to write a spiteful and derogatory letter and wants to punish her as she feels it's as bad as a child who hits a teacher.

Child is very good at literacy and thought this would show head teacher how she can write a persuasive text (something they've been taught!)

I don't know - was I unreasonable in letting her take her letter in ?

YANBU

The world needs more people like your dd

For pity's sake, "wants to punish her as she feels it's as bad as a child who hits a teacher." ? Doesn't the head realise that, in writing, your DD has confronted the teacher without the teacher's losing face publicly? In my eyes, that is incredibly tactful, and exactly the opposite of the physical assault the head is talking about (a physical assault, after all, is an attack on the teacher's dignity and authority, apart from the personal pain of any attack). Your daughter has given the teacher no public grief, and yet the head is afraid she will.

I am generally against parents' backing their children against teachers no matter what (in defiance of reality), but teachers can be stubborn goats, and it is a parent's duty to help his/her child to stand up for him/herself.

YANBU. Perhaps it hit a raw nerve with the Head-there must be a lot of DCs who don't take any interest in football-and she feels guilty.

Good god, what a spiteful headteacher! Surely good letter-writing and a polite and constructive way of expressing a difference of opinion should be valued, not punished?

When I was at secondary school I and another girl were nominated to approach our head on the form's behalf as we wanted her to consider a different choice of a day out than the one we'd been offered by our form mistress, who wasn't budging when we pleaded our case. Our headmistress was extremely strict, of the 'old school', and I was panicking. However she heard us out and told us that she was impressed with our manners and the fact that we'd given the matter some thought and offered a sensible alternative, thus she was delighted to allow us our request.

Now, that's the way to do it!

Your daughter has done nothing wrong, neither have you, and the head is an ass. All credit to your DD and to you for supporting her.

YANBU. My neice is 6, and she wrote to a soft drinks company recently, to point out that a product they market at children mixes up capital and lower case letters on its packaging, which is potentially misleading for children who are still learning to read and write. She thought this up herself, and wrote the letter herself. When Dsis told me, I did think "ooo, the precocious madam", but she duly got a letter back congratulating her on her letter-writing skills, and a promise that her concerns would be looked at by the marketing department. They also sent her some freebies. They could easily have dismissed her as a rude child who knew nothing of marketing and whos should just keep her opinions to herself.
I am outraged that a headteacher would see writing a letter expressing opinions as a punishable offence.

I'd complain to your LA. Terrible behaviour on the Head's part (although, without seeing the content of the letter, it's difficult to judge whether it could have caused offence - but take your word for it!)

Good post pluperfect.

I also think, like pisces, that there's something else going on her to make the head behave so defensively

... going on here (not going on her)

oh yabu
this is FOOTBALL after all
it's important

And I think that thing is probably the fact that you are a Governor, OP. Is she feeling under pressure in other ways and sees the fact that it's your daughter writing the letter as an indirect attack by you (a Governor?)

Would love to know what your DD wrote ...

Ooh, yes, Jamie, attacking the parent by proxy! Could well be. Minds are twisted places in which to live, and with such warped windows, too!

(sorry about the slightly random poesy - wine has warped me a bit further, this evening !)

Hi, why not remove any names or places and then just publish your/daughter's letter then we could actually see where the problem is and perhaps even help?

Why won't you reproduce the letter? - you've been asked by at least two other posters. Nobody can make a proper judgement without reading the letter imo. Perhaps it was tactless or blunt....

Head sounds like a power freak.

All sounds a bit precious to me.