to feign leprosy

[Jasonthunderpants]

DP has a day planned out on Sunday but as we all know England play Germany in the World cup. so here is the plan
I usually wake up first so when I do I will spread strawberry jam down one side of my face and on my chest and pretend I have leprosy and tell them to go without me. With a bit of luck I wil be able to watch the GP as well.
The really cunning part of the plan is I have already told DP that I do not want to watch the football and am looking forward to a nice day out(chuckles to myself at my cunning) I amaze myself sometimes this plan is foolproof

What cunning plans have you come up with to get out of doing things?

YABU.

Leprosy is hard to fake, you should do the talcum-powder-on-your-face, thermometer-in-cup-of-tea, wet-face-to-imitate-sweatiness thing.

Amateur.

Your plan is entirely foolproof. But add some soggy cornflakes, just to be sure.

You may be able to fool the kids, but you won't fool your DP.

It's probably worth a go, but I think leprosy starts at your extremities, finger-tips, toes, end of nose and so on.

You can get fake boils from fancy dress shops which might be more convincing than jam.

Wasps.

Flies.

THat is all I am saying.

Hmmm......I'm thinking you should pick a slightly more plausible disease tbh! Can you not just put on some very pale face powder, clutch your stomach a bit and keep dashing to the bathroom? wouldn't want anyone else to catch a nasty tummy bug and spoil the day out, so you'd better quarantine yoursel

you could take some laxatives and make it really believable!!??? LOL!!

MMMMMMMMMMMM
I think I need to re-think my plans

They might drag you out, saying you'll just shake it off.

Hmmm, I think you might smell of jam and be covered in flies.

Just be careful the flies don't lay eggs on you, or you may be covered in maggots

If your DP has some green coloured concealer, utilise this. It got me out of a few days at school and has contributed to several early departures from work in its time.

Tinned vegetables down the loo along with retching.
Clammy hands (lick your palms, thanks ferris bueller)
Pale face -green concealer as CU said.

None of these worked on my mother though, so good luck with your DP.

How long a day out? Don't you have littlies? If you go out early enough you could eb home with them sleeping for themf ootball, rather than risk them coming back halfway through and rumbling you....

red biro

lots of little dots close together

Awful, awful contagious rash, cannot leave the house.MEASLES.

Any good?

Rice Krispies Pritt-sticked to face make convincing leprous warts

You will be glad to know DP will let me stop and watch the football
I did that thing she likes with some cellery and 2 pingpong balls last night so she doesnt mind if I watch it