to think that dh could pay a bit more attention?

[Jux]

DD (10) in Y6 has got a place in a really good school just across the county border, about 15 miles away, 20 odd minute car journey.

I don't drive (ms related, please don't flame me!). Currently dh drives dd to primary school which takes all of 5 minutes. He has said categorically that he will not drive her to this secondary school (shame he didn't think about that before we applied).

There is a bus, run privately by one of the mothers, which runs from outside our house to the school, but it is full and it is unlikely anyone will drop out to make a place available for dd.

I have spent the last hour and a half trying to google bus routes, times, fares etc from here to the new school. I have finally found the easiest way is to catch the train from here to a town near the school and then get on a bus. I have the times and fares etc.

I have just tried to tell dh the results of my hard work and HE IS WATCHING CRICKET and murmured "that's fine, well done".

AIBU to think that, actually, it would be a lot easier if he were to drive her, and also that he might just listen for a bit while I try to tell him how our pfb is going to get to school? He told me to try to find out. I was only doing it because he wanted me to!!!!!! and then he wouldn't even listen to me!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.

I would be adopting the 'don't ask, tell' tactic here.

Tell him, very clearly, that it has been very important to get DD into a good school for obvious bloody reasons.

One of the most important reasons being so she gets a good education. If she is getting a good education she will need to study in the evenings. If she is tired her work will suffer. If she is at an interesting school full of well-rounded individuals, she will also want to take part in after-school activities. This is all part of her education.

On top of which she is 11, and a 3 hour bus journey, with lots of hanging around dark bus stops at night, is not only demoralising but probably unsafe.

He doesn't work during the week, he drives her until a space on the bus comes up. End of in my book.

On the other hand, I would keep badgering about the bus. If there are other kids in the area with the same problem it may well be worth running 2 buses/getting a larger one etc.

Funnily enough, 30andMerkin, I am investigating the possibility of running another bus! I spoke to the company which provides the current one over a month ago, but another mum had got in before me. Yesterday I started chasing as dd should have got a place on the second one, only to find that this woman had decided not to run it after all. I am waiting for the guy who owns the buses to get back to me. Not sure how to get in touch with other families who might want to put their kids on it - dd is the only one from her primary going to that school. Will talk to the school today after I've talked to guy with bus.

If I tell dh, he will become more intransigent and dig his heels in harder. Married for 13 years, and the only way I've found of getting him to do stuff is to guilt trip him. bleah, I hate having to do it; much rather just have a reasonable discussion, but his brain doesn't work that way.

Jamie, I used to bus it to school too, but there will be no other school kids on these buses, doing the journey. I'll have to do it with her, especially when winter comes and it gets dark. By the looks of it, some of the changes are in very out of the way places. She'll be 11 by the time she starts, but still.

So far, dh has agreed to drive her for the taster day next week, which is a big plus. He may see that it's not such a terrible thing to have to do.

Oh dear, I started this thread meaning it to be a big moan about dh's not paying attention and it's turned into something else entirely. Such is MN though