Mama drama- help!

[oremstango]

So long story short, my friend and I both have 3 year-olds. She took mine overnight when I had my second 6 weeks ago, and I was first on her 'go to' list when she goes into labour around now.

In parallel my husband quick his job and wanted to book a holiday. The best option was for a week after her due date, and I explained this a week before we were due to travel.

She is now extremely upset at me and feels I've let her down hugely and is refusing to speak to me at all. I can understand where she's coming from but also assumed a week was fair notice and that she had back-up options (which she didn't really). Any advice on how to approach as she won't speak with me at all and I did not expect this blow-up.

So how would you have felt if, on your due date, your friend had announced that, after all, she could not have your child when you went into labour? That might give you an inkling of how she is feeling now!

If you are close friends, you must have known her family situation and the fact that she did not have a back-up plan. I'm not surprised she is not talking to you. She is hugely pregnant, hormonal (you presumably remember that bit!) and apart from anything else she is busy trying to come up with an alternative plan for childcare and introduce the idea to her 3 yr old.

Yet another vote for YABVVVVVVU. And selfish.

You put "I was first on her 'go to' list when she goes into labour". Maybe the "list" is a clue to your mindset. What makes you think she has a list, and is not just relying on you? Do you think she has a list of five or six, and just drew straws?

I also think this might be the other way round, that the OP is in fact the friend who has been let down

If the OP is the friend, I'd say that life's too short to bear a grudge. These things happen, and you'll know in future that this "friend" is unreliable. Don't fall out over it. (But then, I'm a real doormat )

Were you due to look after the 3 year old for a few hours, overnight or for a few days?

Does your friend have a DP?

The holiday is a week after her due date and she is due now so maybe she will go into labour before the holiday and you can still help her out.

I can imagine the sudden change in plans must have made her very stressed and upset at an already stressful time so you will really have to do your best to apologise and fix the situation.

At the time when you agreed to help her did you know she had no alternatives? What would have happened if you or one of your dcs was ill when the baby arrived. Had she any other plan at all?

Just wondering really.

yabvu!! could you not atleast have booked for 2.5 weeks after, presuming the most they would probably let her overdue would be 2 weeks, so definitely would have been able to help out and then go. this is really selfish what you have done, especially you were happy to take help from her when the other way round.

YAVVVU and selfish and taking the piss tbh.

My sister and female friends had a carefully co-ordinated response plan for 2 weeks either side of my due date to make sure dds care was covered and I will be eternally grateful to them, annoying for them too as he came exactly 14 days over so all that not boozing and staying close for nothing!!

I will be returning the favour regardless even if it clashes with dcs birthdays.

Even if you changed your plans i would be distant from you from now on. Stuff like this is extremely anxiety provoking and difficult to plan for.

Not surprised she's annoyed.

That's a good point, I reckon this could be a vice versa.

Yikes. A week is not enough notice, not under these circumstances. The poor woman - what awful last-minute stress.

If it is a reversal, then she's probably off having it out with the bitch "friend" now!

A friend of mine let me down and refused to have my son the day I went into labour as her husband had a cold I never felt the same way about our friendship again, it was sheer luck that another friend was able to take my DS overnight, we had no family near enough to come and my DH would have had to drop me at the hospital and leave me alone. You have been very unfair, especially as she was there for you when you needed her.

OP, can you come back and let us know your thoughts, you have been awfully silent!

Have you spoken with her about it today?

oremstango have you spoken to your friend about it? Was minipie right that it is the other way round

[nosey]