to resent being told my ds is "fine" when I just know he isn't (and want help accordingly)

[emkana]

He has just turned four.

He has short-limbed dwarfism - he is the height of an average two year old.

He has moderate hearing loss due to glue ear.

He has constant respiratory infections.

He has speech and language delay, pronunciation is very unclear, expressive language delayed and his comprehension is on the 7th percentile according to the Reynell Language Scales.

He has extreme separation anxiety.

He refuses to be potty-trained.

... yet preschool think he's "fine" because he cooperates in their sessions and doesn't cause problems, SALT thinks he'll be "fine" because he cooperated with the Reynell test...

I feel he is just slipping through the net, not "problematic" enough to get any real attention, but struggling too much to make real progress.

Sooooo frustrating!

YANBU at all. I don't really have any advice for you. I had concerns about DS1 which HV brushed aside, however GP was excellent and referred me to paediatrician and have had lots of involvement from various HCPs.

Can you raise your concerns with anyone else?

Thanks for answering. Have noticed there is something called the Teaching Advisory Service (or something), so am going to ask about them at preschool maybe.

Has he had grommets for the glue ear? A moderate hearing loss, especially if it's long-term can contribute to the language delay. (I know grommets don't always work and not everyone agrees with having them inserted.)

YANBU

DS2 is slipping thru as well He has nowhere near the same needs as your DS but because all the sessions and appts we go to are 1 to 1 -which he THRIVES on - they see it as a mild thing.

Can you keep a diary and take that with you to appts? That certainly helped at the last one we went to.

You know YANBU!!

I can only imagine how bloody frustrating it must be

Hopefully it will be better once he gets to school?!

He had grommets at 2.6 and it did help with his speech, but they have gone now. Waiting for ENT appointment.

keep on keeping on emkana.
go back to GP if pre-school aren't willing to help.
we're having similar with ds1. been to GP who wanted school to refer, school wanted a meeting with us first, where they proceeded to dismiss all of our concerns.

I don't think it's unreasonable to go to the GP and say that you want them to refer because pre-school don't see the side of him that you do, that his problems aren't obvious to them etc etc

do what needs doing. i feel so much like you!

I agree
YANBU

Not at all

Emkana, this must be so frustrating for you. You, as his parent, know him better than anyone else, and if you don't think he is 'fine' then he isn't.

My son has SEN, and these have been very obviously addressed (or at least, some attempt has been made to address them) because he is extremely disruptive in class. I often wonder what would have happened if he had been a quiet and compliant child.

It is really wrong that he is deemed as 'fine' because he isn't kicking off left right and centre

Does he have a statement? You might have to keep on fighting (as most people on the SEN boards will tell you, it can be a long, hard fight) but your child deserves to have his needs recognised and met.

I find that it's so tempting to think "stuff the lot of you, I'll home-educate", but not sure if that's in his best interest either.

YANBU

I do think that sometimes it all boils down to whether the child causes a problem for the schools.

DD1 is on the 7th centile (Reynell) too. She has lots of other areas where she is delayed, etc. But I think the main thing is that she has very little attention & concentration, so she is quite disruptive. This means that she gets 1:1 at preschool.

She will start special school in September.

Are you going for a Statement?

I am currently looking into it, but find the whole process so daunting, especially doing it on my own without support.

No advice to give, just wanted to say that I can't believe he is 4! I have been on MN too long... Does he start school in Sept? It might be easier to get help then when learning starts to become more formal so more obvious if he is not keeping up? Must be very frustrating though...

As an aside, do you know if Tamum is still around - the geneticist (think that was her MN name when your ds was a baby).

Tamum left I think to join the mouldies I think, still miss her (as I do others... sigh )

Ashamed to say I don't recognize your name, have you always been decorhate?

He is supposed to start in September, but am currently thinking about keeping him off school until Christmas or so.

emkana, it really is the only way to guarantee support for your son. It is daunting, but I saw it as 6 months of stress vs 14 years of uncertainty.

did you apply for it yourself?

Emkana - it does seem that almost everyone really has a battle on their hands to get their children the help they need. It must be so much more difficult when you are a single parent

Why do you think keeping him home till Christmas would help? ~I would have thought getting him into the school system would help??

I do have a dh, but by no support I meant outside agencies!

I don't want to keep him completely at home, but want to keep him going to preschool/playgroup a bit longer, reasons: better adult-child ratio, ds loves it, lack of potty-training less of an issue, I took him to his school visit and he was a fish out of water - he is just sooooo not ready for it.

No I haven't had my current name for long - will have to think hard about what it was when your ds was younger!

Sorry I don't recognize your name either, but it's lovely to know that ds is still being remembered on here!

What is CAF?

have you looked up your local PARENT PARTNERSHIP. It is a statutory service, but independent of the LEA, and they are there to help any child and his/her parents where there are special needs and where the child/parent is struggling with the education setting.

Good luck.