to think that State Schools must be shit. . .

[GraceyDoorknob]

. . .Otherwise people wouldn't pay for Private?

I experienced a similar thing to waiting.

DP,dsis and I all went to totally shite state schools. Dps was truely awful. All of us have degrees.Dp has 2,dsis has written books and is taking a 2nd degree. Dp and dsis went to redbrick unis.

There is also a lot to be said for learning with a broad section of society and in normal size classes. When I was at college a lot of the privately educated students really struggled with organising themselves,coping in the real world and lecture hall sizes.

Like the op was ever going to come back.....

Besides you can 'teach' in a private school, which usually pays less, without a teaching degree. My dcs have been to both and I favour State, although 'tis a very middle class state school.

Well I loved the comp and HATED my very posh school. Results are not everything. The peer group pressure was too much for me in the posh place. Everyone was more chilled in the comp and just as many posh kids were doing drugs ie- all of my mates!

I agree with Mila- I think that kids need to confront the real world head on - and that includes mising with poor kids. I LOATHE all this emphasis on grades and results.

In fact I count my lucky stars that I am not one of these aspirational toffs who will scrimp and save to send their kid away to toff central

I mean mixing with poor kids as irony!

Well, DH went to private school whereas I went to what was regarded as the worst comp in the area. As far as education/intelligence goes we are about the same. We both have good degrees.

Two people from my class alone have gone on to do extremely well - definitely on a par with those who have had the best education that money can buy. My BIL on the other hand, who went to the same posh private school as DH, is a bit of a drop out and has never had a decent job despite being in his thirties.

I'm sure private school probably does give a better standard of education, but there are other factors involved in whether a child does well or not.

Well I've taught in a very leafy outstanding graded school which I would never dream of sending my kids too. Very rigid and totally obsessed by their local reputation. Also crazy teaching to the test went on and from Christmas all Y6 did was SATs prep.

I have taught in schools graded either good satisfactory which I would always choose over the the first one.

I'm not suggesting all outstanding graded schools are like this but IME, quite a few are.

No. Would never go private. Too many drugs.

I have been quite appalled by the language at our local private school too zippy-I expect they are fine in school but not when I have passed them on the street corner.

Just as aside, what does MN think of this school?

www.summerhillschool.co.uk/

Summerhill.

Private schools are better funded with smaller classes. Isn't it pretty much that simple?

I've just started teaching university students at a nice redbrick. With no prompting from me or anyone else, when we asked them what one thing they'd like to improve classes, they said they'd really like more one-on-one or two-on-one groups, instead of seminars. They know perfectly well that smaller classes (which are, of course, more expensive) get better results. I bet the same is true of schools, certainly at GCSE and A-Level.

Much easier teaching groups of similar ability, too, surely?

There are so mant different reasons why parents pay for school.
My reasons are mine and they won't accord with others'.

I don't think that you can have a MN opinion on anything! You will have as many opinions as people. Summerhill is one of those places that it nice in theory IMO, but in practice it is 'survival of the fittest' so I wouldn't touch it.

personally i think it depends on a mixture of factors whether your child does well at school or not but at the very least half of how well you do in life is down to YOU, the child at school.

the proof of this is in that you get loads of intelligent, amazing kids from both state school and private.

where i live we have 2 well known private schools and 3 state schools in close proximity. the private school kids [boys only] are all notorious for being excessive drug users, abusive to staff, and have awful, awful attitudes towards women. [my friend is a teacher there and she would leave if she had another job to go to in a heartbeat]
the girls school, from friends of my daughters who i have met, appear to be mostly concerned with having as much time off as possible to enjoy the ski season.
considering the lovely, well rounded kids [with the few bad apples that are at every school, private or state] that have come out of my daughters state school, it would be easy to make judgements.

but i dont. because i can see how private school can greatly benefit those who are depserately in need of those smaller classes and 1-to-1 attention [my friends DS who has autism, for instance, although he goes to one out of town]

whenever people go on about private schools being better i feel sad for them that they havnt been lucky enough to live near decent state schools. league tables mean nothing, its your individual childs grades you need to be worrying about.

We are moving our son from a 'rubbish state' school to private education not because we want to educate privately, but because the primary school he is now is underperforming really badly. We would love to put him in an outstanding and fantastic state school but there are no places. Our DS also has speech delay and we have noticed that at the school he is at now the teachers misinterpret that as him being dumb which is clearly not the case. I had to fight with the school to get him a reading book for example and yet he can read far better than 90% of the school. He is always coming home with the same reading book (this has happened on more than six ocassions) wherein I have asked the teacher why he keeps getting 'the greedy giant' to read all the time.

When he went on his assessment day at the private school they determined that he was able to read a stage 3 book on the Oxford Reading tree, in clear contradiction to the state school. For these reasons we are opting for private, although I do not for one minute think it is acceptable to slate all primary schools. If we had the option of a free state school deemed outstanding then we would certainly choose that. WHo would want to pay?

All the cliches about private school people not having social skills are [yawn]

I know all sorts of privately educated people who can mix with anyone, their jobs rely on them being able to. Old Etonians in particular all have incredible manners and can make anyone feel at ease

I know some state-school products who are super charming too

Social skills are something parents teach, pleasant parents=pleasant children

Summerhill was the one founded by A S Neill, right? I read his book on it, years ago, and was fascinated to discover that thanks to the wonders of a Summerhill education the sexual perversion known as homosexuality never occurs.

mrsshackleton, I agree. The only Etonians I have ever met have had excellent social skills (and manners).

I see Gracey never did come back.

Probably too busy writing.

OP i completely agree with you...

As my Tarquin is leaping out of the 4 x 4 and gaily skipping into his private school, I often praise the lord that he doesn't have to mix with the frankly grubby children from the 'shit state school' down the rd. I mean, they all smell of fruit shoots and sausage rolls because their mothers dont cook from scratch and didn't breastfeed.

Must go, off to do the weekly organic shop and check whether the cleaner has 'poofed' the cushions enough. I do hope there's a mother and baby parking space free....

jeee
really?!
how many years ago was that? [if you say anything later than 1970ish i will scream]

DH went to private school. By his own admission he did as well as he could academically because he was made to stay there until 6 most days doing "prep"/being spoonfed. When he got to university he realised that he didn't actually know how to work without someone watching over him.

I went to a comprehensive and learnt how to motivate myself, mix with people from a range of social backgrounds, and enjoyed teaching that encouraged learning and independent thought rather than simply passing exams.

Of course, this is just individual experience, but as adults he is still passive and likes things to be done for him, whereas I am the self-starter. I would rather my children weren't hothoused at the expense of developing life skills.

I do agree with the posters that have commented on the rather nasty assiduous comments about those that attend private school. There is a lot of endemic "reverse snobbery" that appears to be acceptable in this country that I just do not understand, despite being here for almost half my life.

I attended private schools all my life (both in and outside of this country). Do I have an ability to get on with people regardless of our circumstances in life? I would like to think so, but have encountered a lot of people who treat me as some sort of pariah because of my upbringing, in which I had no say. Regardless of this, I would not change it for the world. My parents (father in particular) worked bloody hard to put me and my siblings through private school as they wanted us to have a better life than they had done growing up and I will always see that as something to be celebrated, not trashed, pilloried or made light of.

Oh, and I will of course be putting my DS through private school. I'm convinced he is far more likely to come out with more grace, tolerance and understanding than I have seen displayed on this thread by a number of posters (obvious sarcasm aside).

Clemmette - if someone's a bit of a tit, I really don't think you can blame the school.