AIBU to be disheartened by unconscious sexist assumptions in our girls?

[onsabbatical]

I was clearing out the attic last week and had my old college matriculation photo temporarily propped up in the drawing room. A friend of DD1 was here. "Oh," she said to DD1 "I didn't know your Dad was at Oxford".

Sigh, I despair.

I would really hope for better and wonder if we are letting down our daughters through not raising their consciousnesses. Perhaps the fact I am currently on sabbatical doesn't help set a proper gender role model as being a SAHM is not accorded equal status with working outside the home.

It's all part of a continuum. Yes, what the OP
raises is appalling, but it's a long way down the line.
We need to start thinking about how to raise our daughters before they get here.

Granted, pink sparkly ain't FGM, but it's a symptom of the disease that affects all women.

But pink sparkly seems to be a phenomenon that hits the 3-5 year old. My 7 yo was as pink and sparkly as they come but isn't anymore. It didn't change what she was aspiring to in life. My younger one isn't anywhere near as pink as dd1 was (yet was brought into a pink sparkly world so to speak), and will answer anything from princess, firefighter, pop star, vet, to ladybird when I ask her what she's going to be when she grows up.

Personally, I think deliberately shunning all things pink and traditionally "girly" (e.g. dolls) is as bad as only giving your daughter those things to the exclusion of anything else. Your daughter sees you caring for babies. What on earth is wrong with her wanting to emulate that by caring for dolls.

Back to the OP's point, yes it is sad, I hope you corrected her and no doubt your own daughter doesn't have those stereotypes in her view on life.

Dd2 is going to be president of the world , be driven in a pink limo & have 30 children for her dh to look after. Not doing too bad there.

Dd1 wants to be a Mummy & do sewing & knitting.

I'm neither a megolomaniac or a 1950s housewife so not sure where either of them get their ideas.

Since I've been with dh both will ask him stuff rather than me although I'm not sure whether that is being sexist or because he is a teacher.

My DD is seven, she adores all things pink and sparkly, barbie etc but she also loves dinosaurs and has a large collection of them shes determined she'll be a palentologist when she grows up.

She has a tshirt that was given to her that says "Girls are brighter than boys" She now belives this is law

Shes free to be who or what she wants to be she knows people can be gay etc. I give her freedom and we have a balance but she does love her pink and wants to get married when shes older specifically so her husband can get rid of wasps for her!

OP don't read too much into it, she probably just spoke without thinking. I'd be suprised if she didn't end up in Uni/College herself.

unfortunately this is not a new thing. I have had it said to me that the reason why i dont have any children yet despite being 31 is that my parents did not buy me dolls people did but i was more interested in toy cars

onsabbatical
why did you preface your post by explaining that you'd been clearing out the attic, and that your college photo was only 'temporarily' on display?

It was because you didn't want other mumsnetter's to think that you had been drawing attention to the fact that you went to Oxford - right? To make sure no one thought you were boasting, right?

Do you think that this self-effacing behaviour - common among women -could be right at the root of the problem? Do you think that if you were a man your DD's friends might be quite well aware that you went to oxford, because you would have told them?

I think you are reading too much into this. She just made a remark in passing. Jn my house My husband went to university but I didn't. But 2 od f my daughters have. So the remark probbly didn't mean she thought that just men ent to oxford

I made a mistake on the whiteboard the other day - accidentally deleted a line. One of my charming 7 year old boys blurted out,"Well you're only a woman and women always make mistakes." He's lucky to have survived.

On a serious note, this was obviously coming from a father who has little respect for women (or makes jokes about women which are misconstrued by the child). I wonder how he views the totally female staff?