Obviously I'm not going to! But I'm just so angry at the moment I keep having to remind myself that it's possibly just me being pregnant and hormonal. Or not. I really don't know right now.
Backstory: My parents split when I was eight. The hostility was pretty thinly veiled at times, but they've managed to be civil to each other, despite both blaming each other for it. They were as bad as each other in terms of what went wrong, but it was my Mum who finally left. She's always been very "tough" and never let the three of us see how much she was hurting throughout the proceedings, though I was obviously a little too young to have been able to pick up on it in any case. Basically, much as I have issues with her parenting style in some areas (she's a bit of a control freak) she's always been this rock, and I can't help but admire her for that.
She and my 'step-dad' married when I was eleven. He had two children from a previous marriage, but they were in their late teens/early twenties so we only saw them occasionally. His son lived with his mum and his daughter (who was the eldest) was in her own place, and now has three kids of her own. He provided a lot of stability for my mum, who was actually being stalked at the time they met (the police stopped that guy but could only ever caution him as he hadn't physically harmed her) and they seemed to be happy. A few years ago they (and my younger brother and sister) moved to the other side of the country to a lovely big house with a gorgeous garden.
It came out last year that he'd been having an affair for months with two other women. The lies upon lies were pretty bad, and for a while it was touch and go, but he seemed genuinely contrite, and my mum gave him a second chance. He promised to change etc., etc.. My sister reports that they continued to have a lot of arguments though, and I've had numerous calls from my mum where one week she was fine, the next it wasn't so good - for her, the loss of trust was a big deal. She said to me at the time that she couldn't believe that after all she'd been through she didn't think this could happen to her.
Well, last week it turned out that the affair with one woman hadn't stopped, and their relationship is officially over. I spoke to my mum on the phone yesterday, and at one point she was in tears. The only other time I've known her cry (apart from when this first started last year) was when my Grandad, who she was incredibly close to, died. That made me pretty mad in itself, that he could do that to her, when she's normally so "strong". She was apologising to me for it, too!
Yesterday though, she also said that he's told his two brothers that he and my mum are separating. From the way he reported it, I would imagine that he's just said 'it's over'. But I don't think he's told his children yet, and when he does, I don't think he's going to tell them about the affairs. Apparently his last marriage ended because of an affair, and they weren't told about that either . (I know, hindsight, eh?)
For various reasons, he and my Mum are going to still be living together for at least the next six months (my brother has SEN and is at college, so needs stability, for one), so I can easily see him passing it all off as a relationship breakdown. I know it's utterly irrational, but part of me really wants to phone up his family and tell them what he's done, and how I hope they're proud that he's managed to break my mum in a way that nothing else could.
So how unspeakably U is that of me? Please be a little gentle, I am 36wks preggers and so pretty hormonal!