DD going on a 5 day school trip tomorrow - don't want her to go!!!

[BigMommaOfAlmost4]

I know IABU especially as I have spent about £700 on it including cost of trip, clothes, euros etc. She's 13 and is going to France. She is my PFB (have 2 DSs as well) but I am 36 weeks pregnant and just want her with me even though I could cheerfully strangle her 99% of the time as she's so bloody horrible at the moment .

What with the bus crashes in Cumbria and South Africa and the floods in France, I am crapping myself for her and worried I will go into premature labour with the stress of it!!

She went on a 2 day school trip to France last year so it's not the first time she's been away. She is also going to America for 2 weeks in August with my parents (we can't all go because of new baby) and that involves a long haul flight so I will probably need valium for that!!

We have been arguing constantly because I did'nt want to spend £40 on a pair of bloody converse trainers which I relented and bought today but she is so ungrateful, mouthy and won't help with anything in the house. Now I feel so bad that she's going away, I have hidden a letter in her suitcase telling her much I love her, how soft am I .

How can you ever stop worrying about them and let them go???

5 days? At 13? You're being weird. My parents sent me off to England (from Germany) for 3 weeks at a time during the summer at that age and younger.

Probably am! Pregnancy hormones not helping though.

You can't stop worrying, but you have to let them go anyway. I know what you mean, though, as I have a 13 year old who veers between adorable and infuriating at the drop of a hat. I love the idea of the letter, it is so sweet. Just think, you will have five days of peace, which you must be needing badly at this point, and she will be so pleased to see you when she gets back - she is bound to miss her mum.

Love the idea of the letter in the suitcase - she'll cry when she finds it and miss you even more
It's good for her to go away - will help her to grow up and have fun.

Keep your feelings firmly to yourself and wave her off cheerfully! Do not lumber her with your worries, she will feel guilty about enjoying herself and she will worry about you-it isn't fair.

No Pisces, I would never do that. I have already told her that I can't wait for some peace!

I really want her to enjoy herself - just can't work out why I can't just be happy that she will be having fun instead of worrying that something bad will happen.

Oh good-I had a vision of you sobbing by the coach! I think that it is just inevitable that you worry-I always do and have to block it out. Keep busy.

If you want to bring yourself back down to mundane reality with a bump...

Imagine how much washing she's going to bring home for you to do. Five whole days worth of outfits with her entire class to impress - that must be at least seven wardrobe changes a day minimum.

I launched myself at poor DD when she returned from France just before Christmas. They had been stuck in the snow and we had waited hours, to her horror I burst into tears. She has just about forgiven me but I have been banned from ever collecting her again.

YANBU, you never stop worrying.

That made me laugh serin-my DSs would never let me live that down! The would be bringing it up 20yrs later-although they would be able to laugh about it then.

Serin - dd1 would be horrified if I did that as well.

OP - I think worrying is normal. Letting your kids see how much you worry or stopping them doing things because of your worry is Not Good. As long as you're not doing the latter I think a little worry does no harm.

Well she went off at 5am this morning (am now totally buggered for the whole day as knackered) and I did NOT cry - some other mums did though so maybe I am not as soft as I thought. She has texted me numerous times and is in France now.

Am now feeling better and looking forward to focussing completely on the DSs for a while!