to not want to celebrate today...

[TheFruitWhisperer]

DP has asked me to go round to his parents to celebrate fathers day with his dad.

I vehemently do not want to go. I realise that on its own is unreasonable but my reasons are as follows;

I lost my Dad to cancer when I was 13 (he was only 33 and it was terribly painful, my mother didnt cope well and we had a good 14 years of turbulant family life after that.)

As such we dont celebrate fathers day, and if we do, its more for my grandad who was like a dad to me.

I normally do the Race for Life on fathers day as it coincides, I can write my dad a nice message, it feels like Im doing something to beat the disease that took him, and it fills up most of the day meaning I can get on and not think about it. I cant this year as Im too pregnant now, and instead Ive caught up with work while DP has been out at work too.

AIBU not to want to go? Instead I'll probably just stay at home and contemplate etc, but I just dont feel I could hold it together at their house.

YANBU, I am sure your FIL will understand.

Have you told DP you don't want to go? Is the Race for Life on today - you could go and watch/cheer the runners on still, even if you're not taking part.

I volunteered to help on the day instead but because of the pregnancy, they didnt think it would be a good idea.

DP thinks Im being odd about it all as my Dad died a long time ago etc. Im certainly not like this all the time, I just think that if I do visit anyone at all today, it shouldnt be his dad. It should be my Mum.

The Race is over now anyway, only stragglers finish this late

Well, bearing in mind that next year you might want to do something just the three of you & that from then on Father´s Day might be about your husband & FIL will just get a phone call or quick visit-would it really hurt?

I thought that, but once Im through the door, I wont be leaving again unless Ive been fed and watered, watched Big Brother and at least 2 episodes of Come Dine with Me!

I really dont want to go.

How does your partner feel about going alone?

Could you put a time limit on the visit?

They arent really like that. Once you are in, you are in for the night. Even if I called Id have to fend off questions like 'why arent you here? whats wrong with you?' etc

He has his two sisters, brother and nephew there, so hes not really alone.

YANBU.it was dps funeral on Friday.As funerals go it was a good one.We have planted some plants in the garden in his memory but have to say that fathers day today has been a bit of a kick in the teeth.DCs have been great though.

Sending you love and empathy Fruit Whisperer

YANBU.it was dps funeral on Friday.As funerals go it was a good one.We have planted some plants in the garden in his memory but have to say that fathers day today has been a bit of a kick in the teeth.DCs have been great though.

Sending you love and empathy Fruit Whisperer

YANBU.it was dps funeral on Friday.As funerals go it was a good one.We have planted some plants in the garden in his memory but have to say that fathers day today has been a bit of a kick in the teeth.DCs have been great though.

Sending you love and empathy Fruit Whisperer

Well then if you feel there are enough people there, don´t bother!

sorry for multiple posts laptop a bit dodgy

yanbu

we've been to neils grave with homemade cards and picked flowers and thn had doughnuts and ice cream for lunch

I would be no company for anyone today

My thoughts are with you, Mavis.

It can be a day of mixed feelings for so many people. x

Hugs to trinity too.

Doughnuts and ice cream sound yum though..bet the children enjoyed that

oh yes they loved that

thanks for the hugs

cant ever seem to get enough of them at the mo

An update : I dropped DP off just now and as we pulled up about 20 members of his family were piling into the house...

After that he didnt want to go either!

Good heavens!

So not just "children" there then?

Sounds awful!