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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I want some adult time

18 replies

bananalover · 19/06/2010 22:21

AIBU in thinking that after 8.30 pm ALL children, no matter what their age should be either in bed or in their own bedrooms, so that me and dh can have some adult time on our own?
Drives me nad the way they keep making excuses to stay up or keep coming downstairs because they want to tell me they are either bored, cant think what game to play on, dont know which jigsaw puzzle to do, or are just not tired.
Considering they all get up between 6am and 6.30 am, how can they not be tired at 8.30pm? I know I am!

OP posts:
HurleySatOnMe · 19/06/2010 22:23

I certainly hope bananas don't come under the heading of adult time. But yanbu

compo · 19/06/2010 22:24

How old are they?

twopeople · 19/06/2010 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
bananalover · 19/06/2010 22:34

tbh, the 8 year old is the worst. the other 2 younger ones obviously flake out eventually. but atm, we have to seperate them, as after bath we try to get youngest ones to wind down and relax. this sets oldest one off on a mission....to see how much he can wind other two up, IYSWIM.
so oldest gets sent to his room in order to allow youngest 2 to settle down. i really hate this though as i feel he is being ostracised for keeping the other 2 awake, and would really like for him to be able to come down, watch tv with all of us, then go to bed at a reasonable time.
Have tried going to his room with him and playing a game, etc, but i just feel a bit pissed off that at 9pm i should be downstairs with dh relaxing myself and having a chat...AIBU?

OP posts:
moondog · 19/06/2010 22:38

Just send 'em away.
FGS, who is in charge here!

funnysinthegarden · 19/06/2010 22:39

No, yanbu. My children go to bed at approx 7pm and are told to play in their rooms. Don't come downstairs or shout down unless there is am emergency ie a fire in their room. They then get put to bed at 8.30 allowing me and DH to have dinner and a chat without the children.

They do come down between 7pm and 8.30. BUT by 8.30 they know we are serious and don't generally disturb our dinner.

BitOfFun · 19/06/2010 22:42

8.30 is very reasonable for an eight year old with those hours. You have to extend it as they get older, but my teenagers will still bugger off around half nine or ten if we ask them to make themselves scarce.

Original poster
bananalover · 19/06/2010 22:51

thank god for that...thought it was just me being a witch and making them go to bed!

OP posts:
honeymom · 19/06/2010 22:52

mine are in their cages by 5pm :p no seriously 8.30 is very reasonable, but do they have a structured bedtime routine?

BloomingFlowers · 19/06/2010 23:02

You are entirely reasonable.

Unfortunately we have "franchised" the little fuckers; and as a consequence they have an opinion.

I refer to Babette Cole.

I advise that at xx:xx o'clock, Mummy and Daddy will be naked on space hoppers flopping down the hall.

That seems to do the trick.

Obviously we do no such thing; we're too tired to mount a space -hopper.

Original poster
bananalover · 19/06/2010 23:03

well, they did have, but over past few months dd has refused to GO to bed. she falls asleep on sofa and we carry her up later. i know, i know, this is not good. she used to trottle off upstairs, i would read her a story or 2 and she would settle down and go to sleep (or did i just dream that?)
then all of a sudden, its like she is adament...no bed, dont understand it ?
youngest, no probs, if he hasn't been wound up by other 2, he will lie in his room and doze off by himself with soft toys.
so where am i going wrong....or is everyone in same boat?

OP posts:
funnysinthegarden · 19/06/2010 23:06

No, not going wrong, you just have to be firm, even if it means an argument at bedtime. I have to wrestle DS1 upstairs at bedtime, but if I didn't he would be up at 10pm, and I'm not having that!

Original poster
bananalover · 19/06/2010 23:12

so everybody agrees that IANBU in wanting to spend some adult time with my dh in the evening?

OP posts:
funnysinthegarden · 19/06/2010 23:16

absolutely. Why, who disagrees?

Original poster
bananalover · 19/06/2010 23:19

nobody...tbh i thought i would get flamed on this...people saying i am cruel for sending my kids away so i can spend time with dh...how can u be so selfish, etc.

OP posts:
funnysinthegarden · 19/06/2010 23:22

OMG, NO. If we didn't get time to ourselves in the evening then we would have been heading for the divorce courts years ago. You NEED time to be together

AgentZigzag · 19/06/2010 23:39

We tell DD2 (9) that she can't come down after 9 as it's 'our time' and we talk about different things to when she's around, and watch different telly, and she's fine with it and understands.

It's nice not to have to talk for a few mins

Original poster
bananalover · 19/06/2010 23:43

OMG TELL ME ABOUT IT kids nowadays seem to be able to talk for england...my mum says we were never like that!

OP posts:
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