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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to accept that I will be on benefits for the rest of my life?

139 replies

NothingLeftToGive · 19/06/2010 13:21

First off, I would happily do just about any job. I'd clean the streets if they'd have me.

I'm in almost perfect health (bit of mild arthritis but it doesn't affect my life at all).

However, I have been told that I am over qualified for just about everything going. The things I am qualified for are not recruiting at the moment and will not be for the forseeable future by which time my skills will be massively out of date. I cannot afford to retrain.

I'm seriously considering just giving up and becoming a part of the welfare burden for the rest of my natural life.

Totally unreasonable or realistic acceptance of my situation?

OP posts:
booyhoo · 19/06/2010 16:25

i notice you still arent giving answers to the questions asked.

compo · 19/06/2010 16:29

If you are serious about wanting to volunteer go to your local library
they might neeed volunteers to take books to housebound people, people to help with ryhmetimes and story times and people to help users learn how to use the free computers

Ask in help the aged shops etc

Ask at your local homeless shelter, RSPCA shelters etc etc

there is voluntary work out there if you really want it

soup kitchens in London always need people in the winter for example

Downdog · 19/06/2010 16:39

being long term unemployed is demoralising. But the one thing you can change/control in all of this is your attitude.

If your time in your field is over (seems it might be) you've got to leap sideways. You havn't answered the Q's re what you actually do but you must have skills that will transfer into a rewarding job in another field.

Don't give up on yourself.

You've prob looked over your CV time and time again but take another look. A friend of mine had a name that sounded like a mans. She was passionate about dancing, and had just returned from 18 months travelling including climbing Everest. Looking for months without any positive response - not even an interview. When I looked over her CV she sounded like a very camp man who would be off travelling at next opporunity - nohting wrong with that but not what her industry (insurance) was looking for. We made some tweaks & she was offered several jobs within 2 weeks and even got interviews at places that has previously rejected her with earlier CV. Yes it was in a different climate to now, but I'm just saying to illustrate how a few things can give the wrong impression.

JaneS · 19/06/2010 17:35

Is it at all possible for you to move areas? I have a good degree and applied for literally hundreds of jobs when I graduated, making it clear I was willing to do anything. Didn't get Tesco, Aldi, TA at school, etc. etc. But I was in a very deprived area of the North East and jobs were gold dust. Once I moved down here, I walked straight into a job waitressing, no trouble, and they let me choose my own hours! It felt like heaven but I realized it really does matter where in the country you are.

EveWasFramed10 · 19/06/2010 18:58

Why is shelving at Tesco 'not going to happen'?? Surely they don't care about your being over qualified???

janeite · 19/06/2010 19:01

Good God - of course you are being unreasonable.

ivykaty44 · 19/06/2010 19:02

when you apply for a job - you don't have to list all your qualifications, it isn''t lieing if you omit a degree or an O'level or GCSE

It is wrong if you elaberate and put down more than you really have

No employer is going to check that you have more qualifications than you really have...

juneybean · 19/06/2010 19:02

YABU leave your qualifications off your CV if you feel it's hindering you.

EveWasFramed10 · 19/06/2010 19:04

What are your qualifications, OP?? I think it's been asked before, but someone may actually be able to point you to something you can do!

MadameCastafiore · 19/06/2010 19:06

I hope you funded all of those qualifications yourself and the government didn't help you with those too.

I hope that they stop your benefits too when you turn up at the jobcentre and get sent for an interview and have such a dire attitude that you fail again and again - maybe taking your head out of your over qualified posterier will help.

GypsyMoth · 19/06/2010 19:08

assuming op's ON benefits where you're required to turn up at the jobcentre in an effort to look for work!! not all have that requirement

ssd · 19/06/2010 19:14

good luck op

I'm well over qualified for my minimum wage job, its soul destroying

I hope you find something soon, I can well understand your despair

RobynLou · 19/06/2010 19:16

It's not as simple as leaving qualifications off a cv those who are suggesting that.
I f I were in OPs position and left off my qualifications past 6th form I would have 5 years of my life with no explanation as to what I was doing during that time, I'd have to make up jobs or something... which isn't advisable!

Marjee · 19/06/2010 19:22

Op have you considered care work? Its not the most glamorous or well paid job but the care industry is desperate for people and they wont care about your qualifications.

xstitch · 19/06/2010 19:36

While I think the OP is wrong in thinking things will never get better I can completely understand why she feels so low.

Job hunting is the most demoralising experience I have ever had. In fact it has, at times, made me feel suicidal. I have approached all supermarkets speculatively and been told on every occasion they are not recruiting. I sis the same with all local fast food outlets. On top of that I have so far this year completed 84 specific job application. I have had 3 interviews, 2 of them rejections. The third didn't even bother to tell me I hadn't the job. I have had 2 further outright rejections. Which leaves 79 no replies.

I am not on benefits as I took a job for a few hours a week which is not enough hours to make ends meet and not enough hours to supplement with tax credits. I have considered pretending I don't have qualifications but like robyn would not be able to account for that time if I pretend I didn't study, it would also cause confusion with my previous employment.

The man at the job centre (without checking any details of past experience) told me not to bother applying for the jobs as I would be incapable of doing any of them

I am still holding onto hope, but only just.

FairyMum · 19/06/2010 19:37

I can understand your despair too. Perhaps you are applying for too many jobs and not putting enough effort into your applications to tailor them to the job you are applying for? How about temp work? I know in my sector (banking) we take on a lot of temps/contractors at the moment.

Ridiculous to tell people struggling to find work they have trained for and probably also invested a lot of money in studying for to just go and help in a soup kitchen I think.

EveWasFramed10 · 19/06/2010 19:38

I am really curious about what these qualifications are that render people unable to work in their chosen professions???? And makes them basically unhirable to do anything else???

toccatanfudge · 19/06/2010 19:40

what's wrong with suggesting she goes and volunteers in a soup kitchen while she's looking for work? (or even continuing to work in a soup kitchen once she finds a job??)

toccatanfudge · 19/06/2010 19:42

Eve -there are lots of people currently not able to find work in their chosen profession, with all the qualifications for jobs..........are the jobs aren't there right now.

GypsyMoth · 19/06/2010 19:43

me too Eve...

compo · 19/06/2010 19:45

does ehe mean she can't shelf stack because of thw arthritis , although she says it doesn't affect her health

care work is tricky if you've got back problems

Cretaceous · 19/06/2010 19:47

I really feel for you, OP. Those who write things like just get a job shelf stacking at Tesco's - do you not realise that Tesco's have the pick of people? They can choose who they want, and they do not want eg middle-aged people with degrees. A young person with a degree, or a middle-aged person with no degree might be acceptable.

OP, you might not yet be over 35, but if you are, it is definitely even more difficult.

Have you looked at the help available to start your own business? I'm sure you are demoralised at the moment, so you may not feel you are resilient enough to do that. But if you are, perhaps that is the best course of action.

FairyMum · 19/06/2010 19:48

A soup kitchen is not going to pay OPs mortgage. I think there is a danger if we start thinking people who lose their jobs, can just do unpaid work instead. I suspect a lot of currently paid positions would be made unpaid instead. Cameron's big society.

toccatanfudge · 19/06/2010 19:49

care work and back problems not a good idea at all.

And - having worked in care myself (unqualified and inexperienced at the time, but I was actually genuinely interested in working in the sector) it does concern me that we're so willing to encourage people into care work that don't have a heart for it.

The are looking after some of the most vulnerable members of our society, and having worked with some that were simply in it "for a job" and see their attitudes, and their lack of concern, and in some cases genuine bad practice I'm not very comfortable with it.

How many of us would put our very young children in setting with people who had no real concern for their welfare, who were unqualified and inexperienced.........and were "in it for a job"

toccatanfudge · 19/06/2010 19:51

no - no-one is suggeseting she does it long term - volunteering is something good to fill the gaps on a CV if nothing else, and does at least give the job seeker a sense of worth while they're in that horrible "can't find a job" phase