Bad Dad

[GeraldineAubergine]

Ok, so my dad has been living in china with an insane woman he met on the Internet. She offered to take 3 week old DS off my hands to live with his 'grandparents' in china ( my mum died 4 years ago so this was very upsetting). My dad didn't censor her she kept phoning me etc. In the end I had to ignore her and be rude. I told my dad what an ass-hat he was being by living with a mad stranger in a foreign country who was harassing his daughter.
So, he is back now and is today bringing round an old girlfriend, who is lovely. I tried to put him off and told him how rong he is to mess nice, unknowing girlfriend around. I feel akward and feel like telling her about Chinese crazy girlfriend and also what a sleaze my dad is. Also have been up since 4 and am very tired. AIBU?

Bonkers! YANBU to not let her have your 3 week old-ridiculous I hadn't even left the house with DD by the time she was 3 weeks old. (c sect and 2ndary infection meant i couldn;t walk or sit!)

You say this old girldfreind who is lovely is being led on by your dad but I am little confused-is he two timing her for the chinese nutter?

Yes! He's going back to china to live with chinese girlfriend in September. Nice girlfriend has been opening his post, she even sent me a birthday card as she knew he'd forget and signed it from him. I'm sure she doesn't know about Chinese girlfriend. He used to lie to my mum about nice girlfriend and vice versa, he has history.

yanbu. I know somebody who used to live in shanghai, and they like to photograph and follow round white children. she had to run for cover a few times, with complete strangers trying to take photos and hug and touch her kids hair. it's like a sleb to them becuase their societies are homogenous compared to Europe.. Sorry just realised I was making a massive assumption there. but if you are white then I think she wants to 'show off' the baby like a fancy car. + obviously not to mention I wouldn't send my tiny baby anywhere !!!!! She must be nuts to think that you'd even consider sending your baby to another continent!!

Be as rude as you need to be.

Oh and poor you for c section and infection must have been awful. Chances of sending ds on his own to china to live with a stranger at three weeks old were slim to say the least

Ps, your Dad sounds like a player. How tedious to have to witness this character trait in your own father.

Oh what a shame. I am inclined to say that although your dad is behaving dreadfully, you are not his keeper and with a 3 wk old in the house this should really be the last of your worries. Let him get on with it, hes being an idiot but obviously getting something from chinese nutter that you will never understand.

Dont get involved and if your freindship with lovely girlf is blossoming then just let it be that. She sounds really considerate and nice, Your relationship with her is a seperate issue especially if dad is off in China living a fantasy.

Concentrate on your baby, let your dad run his own life.THe time for you to be a little family centred is now.

I hope it gets better for you.

Thanks for advice. Just to clarify ds is 16 weeks now, he was three weeks when she offered.

Am very sympathetic. Grandads screwing over their nice girlfriends is a sensitive topic in this house atm.

God knows you have enough on your plate with a 3-week-old, I agree with mrspir8 really. Tempting to ask your dad about his plans for the year with the nice girlfriend present. But really I would try not to give headspace to this sordid nightmare and just enjoy your own baby. Smiles soon

oops x post!

Been out to buy cake for nice girlfriend and am going to keep quiet/stay out of it. Thanks all.

Your dad is a dirtbag why do you have him in your life?
I would tell the nice girlfriend about the nutjob
I would tell the nut job to fuck off and not contact you ever again

If in doubt say nowt is often the right advice and probably is here, but he sounds very silly.

Runawaywife, I see what you are saying but it's very hard to cut someone out of your life completely. And he's not all bad. It's also hard to say nothing when you feel complicit in a lie thats due to someone else not having morals.