To not want sex unless dp spends time with me?

[Dinkytinky]

Hi! Just wondered if anyone else feels the same/what you did about it?

Dp works ALOT and has been more busy than usualas well as having many hobbies and having to goto lots of functions for clients etc etc.

The only problem is that his work comes home with him and he's always doing that or various hobbies while I'm alone until midnight everynight, and then he climbs into bed all randy and I'm not in the mood at all!
It's just hard to feel sexy when I've been slobbing about by myself all night.

He's a great bloke and very thoughtful most of the time , tells me he loves me a million times a day, but our sex life is really suffering now, help!xx

Explain that your sex drive is like a hobby, you get nothing out of it if you can't commit any time to the basics.

Fair enough, YANBU!

Perhaps you could explain how you feel and get him to 'schedule' some private time just for both of you e.g. date night?

good luck!

x

Yep, know that feeling. Even when around all the time it is the same, to be honest.

Spend all day in seperate rooms of the house and evenings watching TV in virtual silence and then expected to "turn it on" in the bedroom

Sorry, not happening.

I am with you on this one.

I quite agree. My dp doesn't say much, and sometimes we only say yes/no etc to each other for days. He isn't touchy feely either, and does the same thing. I like a bit of physical and emotional contact to get in the mood! What also pisss me off, is when He hasn't touched me for a week or two, then he says 'I've had a really hard week at work, I've got a crap meeting tomorrow night and I could really do with a shag'! Excuse me, but I don't think so!

It's weird really isn't it? I always think foreplay starts much earlier than the bedroom- like if we're snuggled up watching a film and he's strokig my legs/playing with my hair etc. I mean, yesterday he scratched his balls for ten minutes then tries it! YUCK, I mean he would never have done that a few years ago

Oh I so agree with you and I'm not even insisting on foreplay just a conversation during the evening .

It's f'in disrespectful really. Have talked to him about it but .... nothing changes.

Me too fran!!! I feel like he thinks he's just 'got' me now- no effort required! I thought it was me for a while but I make the same amount of effort in bed - always groomed, sexy underwear, flipping makeup and nice hair. If I was wearing a long sleeved winnie the pooh mighty and had hairy everythings then maybe he'd be up for it?!?!?!

Brilliant ideas By the way colditz and north London, thankyou xxx