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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have been a bit curt with this lady?

28 replies

JaneS · 18/06/2010 16:16

Was in Blackwells in the queue for books. The woman behind the till and her customer were chatting away and the customer says, 'Oh, now I've put my pin in someone in Bangladesh knows I've bought a book!' I thought it was a bit odd, but then the two of them started into a long conversation about how your credit card details are kept by 'all sorts of people' and even if your local bank is in the UK you can find they've 'transferred' you to talk to someone on the other side of the world. Apparently 'they' keep trying to get your details and you can't be too careful.

Now, I know it is annoying when you call the bank and can't understand the person on the other end of the phone - if that's the issue. But don't you think the woman on the till should have said something back to this woman instead of going along with her? I mean, obviously your bank doesn't employ people who have a vested interest in stealing your details, nor do people from Bangladesh have some kind of automatic desire to steal from you!

I thought it was really unpleasant and I was a bit abrupt with the till woman when it was my turn - not rude, I just didn't chat. Was I being a bit OTT, or were they out of order?

OP posts:
TheBoyWithaSORNedMX5 · 18/06/2010 16:21

Hmm, I don't know LRD. I do have an issue with personal and financial data being housed and accessed overseas - it's not forriners I object to though. I worry about outsourcing, and about how well regulated these things are if they fall outside of EU/UK control.

Lauriefairycake · 18/06/2010 16:23

Of course they were OTT (and racist)

I'm always astonished with the casual racism people go along with when they're 'being polite'

I've even found myself doing it when I can't be arsed to cause a scene - even last week my plumber made a casual 'Polish builders' comment and I just hmm-ed.

LimaCharlie · 18/06/2010 16:26

At a generous stretch I can understand that maybe people of a certain age don't understand technology and are wary of the route a lot of banks take using overseas call centres.

That said it did sound like racism to me.

skihorse · 18/06/2010 16:30

I don't know why you're bothered - but clearly you don't know how databases work! Or the security risks involved with them.

Original poster
JaneS · 18/06/2010 16:32

I think it sounded like racism. I wanted to say something to her but I didn't know what to say. It was the oddness of it that gets me, really. I mean, complaining that you can't understand a Bangladeshi accent; fine. Complaining that you don't like foreigners; racist, but sadly understandable. Believing your own bank is in on a conspiracy with Them Brown Folk to steal your details? Huh?

OP posts:
Original poster
JaneS · 18/06/2010 16:33

You mean me, skihorse?

OP posts:
scaryteacher · 18/06/2010 17:57

It has been reported in the news that those who work in call centres in places like India and Bangladesh can make more money by selling on customer details (numbers on backs of cards etc) than they do working for the call centre in the first place.

I don't think she was being racist as she was talking about Bangladesh (the country), rather than Bangladeshis (the inhabitants); would you have thought the same if I had been in front of you, used my Belgian credit card to pay for something, and said, 'Oh, someone in Brussels will know I've bought a book', especially as I don't know the ethnicity of the people who work for my bank in Brussels? Equally, I could have made the comment using a UK card in a book shop in Brussels.

Incidentally, I bank with a UK bank who outsources to the subcontinent, and sometimes they send UK staff over to help train the locally employed staff, so it could be a Brit who watched the purchase tick up.

Original poster
JaneS · 18/06/2010 18:02

I would have thought you were a bit odd if you said that - which was exactly what I thought of her. It was they way the conversation carried on that bothered me - lots of 'they' and 'them', as if there were a big conspiracy.

But then I didn't know there was a recent news scare ... maybe that's all they were referring to, but I didn't quite like it all the same.

Btw, you do know it's not more acceptable to be prejudiced against Belgians than Bangladeshis, don't you?

OP posts:
backtotalkaboutthis · 18/06/2010 18:04

There have certainly been problems with bank call centre data security in south Asia.

She may have been a racist as well as being aware of bank date security issues in south Asia. However I don't think it is racist to know about bank data security issues in south Asia.

backtotalkaboutthis · 18/06/2010 18:06

There have had to be various tightenings up of security. I have no idea if it is still an issue, or any more of an issue than elsewhere in the world.

pagwatch · 18/06/2010 18:11

TBH I would have had to hear it.

It is very different for someone to have concerns about theyi data being shipped all over the place than it is for them to have race issues regarding who has access to it.

But certain areas of the world are far more vulnerable to cloning and data theft than others. That isn't racism , it is just economic reality

Yjeu may have been racist orthey may have been cautious or a bit techophobe

GiddyPickle · 18/06/2010 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GypsyMoth · 18/06/2010 18:17

we all know there are racist people about,thats not going to change,but you only let yourself down by retaliating by being rude/curt back....

blowninonabreeze · 18/06/2010 18:26

Was the woman behind the till in the shop was more in "smile and nod" mode rather than agreeing and engaging in the customers opinions? I can imagine not wanting to engage in a dispute with a customer whilst at work, given she could then be accused of being rude to the customer or holding up the rest of the queue.

So whilst I'd take issue with the obnoxious customer, I'd cut the shop keeper some slack and assume she was in nod and smile mode.

blowninonabreeze · 18/06/2010 18:28

GiddyPickle put it much better than I did!

My cleaner has some rather alternative views and expresses them without pausing for breath whilst I'm trying to round up 2 toddlers and their accompanying paraphernalia, and get out the house to leave her to clean.

I often go into smile and nod mode just to get out the door.

Original poster
JaneS · 18/06/2010 22:34

Perhaps Giddy is right. I just felt that she wasn't so much smiling and nodding, as voicing an opinion she was sure everyone would agree with. I didn't feel comfortable with that.

Btw, I really disagree with you ThreeBlondBoys. I think it is sometimes important to show that you don't agree with racists. I am feeling pretty bad I didn't make it more explicit. And no, I certainly wasn't rude.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 18/06/2010 22:43

didnt say you should agree

Original poster
JaneS · 18/06/2010 22:49

Er, no, you didn't ... does that mean I'm barred from disagreeing then?

OP posts:
madamehooch · 19/06/2010 08:29

The tone of your OP suggests that you were angrier with the woman behind the till than you were with the customer who made the remark in the first place. If this is the case then YABU to have been abrupt with the bookseller - why should she bear the brunt of your ire rather than the other woman? Is it easier to be confrontational to someone behind a till who you know would have to nod politely rather than with someone who is likely to argue back? BTW, I can understand how you felt uncomfortable overhearing their conversation but I was just a bit as to why you thought "the woman on the till should have said something back to this woman instead of going along with her"

moondog · 19/06/2010 08:37

Oh FGS.
Have you really nothing better to worry about?

It's not a crime to be worried about your financial detials going to another part of the world and you know what? People can say what the bloody hell they like.

SouthMum · 19/06/2010 08:57

YABU and I dont think they were being racist at all. Just sounds like two people a bit concerned having a bitch, after all this sort of thing does go on......

kerstina · 19/06/2010 08:57

I am not comfortable with globalisation. full stop. nothing to do with racism. Just really shabby of the banks and companies who have taken call centres ect out of the uk to Asia just to save money.
Think it was a defining moment when i rang up next(years ago) to order something and the lady could not understand me and i could not understand her ! Doubtless to say i had wrong item ordered.
Cadburys has not long been sold off to American giant Kraft i believe they are already closing down plants here to open in Poland. Sorry for rant but i do feel quite strongly about this !

Chil1234 · 19/06/2010 09:24

I think eavesdropping on other people's conversations is a habit fraught with dangers....

skihorse · 19/06/2010 09:42

It's a very British thing isn't it? This whole "I was so disgusted I was furious (but I didn't say anything)"!

There was a story in the paper yesterday about a drunken couple getting down & dirty on the beach on the IoW until the police turned up. Lots of "thank goodness the police turned up, we didn't know where to look and there were children here".

Fgs - if you were really offended you'd have opened your trap and voiced your opinion.

Original poster
JaneS · 19/06/2010 11:20

I wasn't furious. I just wanted to know what people thought. I thought some people might think I should have said something, actually. The reason I didn't was that it wasn't an easy one to call - the tone of the conversation was pretty unpleasant (as I've said, it was the 'they' and 'them' that got to me), but whether or not it was deliberately racist I couldn't say.

If I'd been 'really offended', I wouldn't be here wondering if I'd been right or not, would I?

Btw, I am not sure a conversation at a bookshop till is exactly private, is it?

OP posts: