to think that people should believe that my daughter genuinely IS a girl when I tell them that she is?

[cryhavoc]

Took DD(2.4) into town this morning. Had a pleasamt potter around, went to the park for a while, then stopped at the chip shop to get some lunch. (Treat for us both - she had been - save for a small Peppa Pig related incident - very good, and I have been to the gym five times this week. So a portion of chips to share.)

No one else is in the chip shop. I sit DD on the counter and order the food, and the Greek owner offers her a chip. She says, 'Yes please,' takes it and says 'Thank you.' Pleased and a bit surprised by her impeccable manners I say, 'Good girl.'.
Old man is surprised.
'But he's a boy!'
'No,' I insist, 'She's a girl.'
He looks incredulous, gestures at her (admittedly paltry) hair, 'So why have you cut off her hair to make her look like a boy?'
I try to explain that I haven't cut it, it just hasn't grown yet, he won't have any of it and tells me I am very mean for cutting all her lovely hair off when I have long hair myself.
'What's her name then?' he asks.
Now, DD has a Welsh name, that does sound a little like Theo. So when I tell him what she is called he shouts, 'Ha!' triumphantly. 'Theo! Boys name! He is a boy!'

At this point we say thank you, wave bye bye and leave.

Now maybe her hair has been quite slow to grow (I get really jealous of her friends with longer hair.) and today she was dressed in denim dungarees that could be seen as a bit neutral, but is it unreasonable of me to expect him to believe me when I said that she is, actually, a GIRL?

There are pictures on my profile, so please feel free to tell me if you think she looks like a boy too.

But to be honest, the chips were so delicious that I don't really begrudge him his opinion...

I think it's funny. I think he was teasing - but he should have had the sense to see that it can be a touchy subject.

she could be either, tbh, but surely if you really cared that much you would dress her in more feminine clothes? Am NOT saying you should at all, but I think if it bothered you you would?

It seems as though you might be encouraging the tomboy look? I may be wrong - just judging by pictures.

As a child my mother cut my hair very short.

Now I know you haven't done this, but please try hard to make her look like a girl.

I found it very upsetting to be thought of as a boy. As if there was something wrong with being a girl?
That was the message I received.

Probably I am reading too much into it.

But please don't do it to your daughter.

You're right, thecatatemygymsuit - I'm not bothered at all as long as she is comfortable and happy.

Thread meant to be funny - he made me laugh so I thought I'd share.

Cryhavoc, good for you! Am afraid I gave in to the hairslides as I was fed up with people asking if dd was a boy (until her hair grew, phew!

Very odd man.

If it happens again, what about looking the person in the eye and asking "Why on earth do you think I would lie about the gender of my child?"

People don't challenge others enough

Well she's very lovely, even if she is a bit androgenous at the moment - and pink would clash horribly with her hair (which is fab, btw)

My sis's oldest DD's hair didn't grow for ages and people always thought she was a boy, despite wearing pink and lilac the whole time, and skirts most of it too.

Whereas my DS, because of having blond hair and blue eyes, often got called a girl, again despite wearing boy clothes (and colours). Mind you, as his hair is gettin less blond I think this has stopped happening now - no one has made that mistake for a few months....

She looks lovely and I love the clothes she wears. For what its worth, ds who is now four is still called a girl as he has such long lashes and has always been willowy - tall and thin, while chunky, sturdy three month old dd gets called a boy even if she's head to toe in pink.

Like someone else has said in gender neutral clothing its hard to tell under the age of 5 with short hair.

As a 10yo I had a chewing gum incident short haircut, and being tall and thin and wearing jeans was often mistaken for a boy and got very upset about it - putting on a dress made a big difference.

She does look like a boy but at 2yrs old boys and girls look pretty similar anyway.

But of course the person should have simply accepted that since your the mother who gave birth, cares for and sees the child everyday you would at least know the gender of your own child.

The man seems very odd and somewhat funny.

She's lovely and looks like a girl to me.

Love your justification about being in the chip shop - just in case you got a flaming for it!

Are they your rotties btw? Handsome doggies.

I think she looks like a rotweiller ,oh hang on wrong picture

bumpsoon

She is beautiful! And her hair is beautiful coulr too. My DS has the same shade

Sounds like his idea of a sense of humour... he just lacked the tact to see that you didn't find it funny. Fwiw I don't think she looks like a boy.

Bumpsoon. She seems to think she's a rottie a lot of the time, and far prefers their basket to her bed.
They are ours, and I have always thought them very handsome (even though Girldog looks like a boy, but that's another thread...)

Condensedmilkaddict um, not sure what to say really. She is two. I'm not encouraging any look - she wears a wide mix of clothes, there is a lot of pink in her wardrobe (which yes, does clash horribly with her hair) and she gets as much say as you can allow a two year old to have in what she wears. The green t-shirt was borrowed from the birthday boy at a recent party because she jumped into the paddling pool while dressed in her pretty party dress. I'm sorry you were made to look like a boy, but honestly, that is not the intention here. I dress her practically - today she was in dungarees because I knew we'd be at the park and they make grabbing her very easy!

Bumpsoon. She seems to think she's a rottie a lot of the time, and far prefers their basket to her bed.
They are ours, and I have always thought them very handsome (even though Girldog looks like a boy, but that's another thread...)

Condensedmilkaddict um, not sure what to say really. She is two. I'm not encouraging any look - she wears a wide mix of clothes, there is a lot of pink in her wardrobe (which yes, does clash horribly with her hair) and she gets as much say as you can allow a two year old to have in what she wears. The green t-shirt was borrowed from the birthday boy at a recent party because she jumped into the paddling pool while dressed in her pretty party dress. I'm sorry you were made to look like a boy, but honestly, that is not the intention here. I dress her practically - today she was in dungarees because I knew we'd be at the park and they make grabbing her very easy!

My eldest ds was often mistaken for a girl when he was going through a goth phase when he was 16/17. He had long, shiny hair, wore eyeliner and had/has cheekbones to die for. He got offended once or twice when men tried to chat him up but we all saw the funny side eventually! He is still gorgeous but with shortish hair and no eyeliner these days!

Ok cryhavoc. Was just trying to share with you my experience.

from the photos, could be either a boy or a girl. Lovely looking child.

Yes the chip shop man should have believed you. But hey, maybe it made him happy to think your DD was a boy, and it won't hurt you or your DD for him to think that....

I'm sorry, Condensedmilk, I really didn't mean to offend you. Thanks for sharing your story - it's just not what's happening here.

People say strange things don't they?

fwiw, she has more hair at 2.4 than my dd1 does at 3.4! And people are always asking me why I cut dd1's hair like that (why oh why would I cut her hair to look all wispy and barely-there?), especially since I "let" dd2 have longer hair (dd2 is on her 2nd haircut).

Even when I patiently point out that dd1 is sporting all the hair she has grown since she was born and that's just hte way it is, they still look at me as though I'm a cruel mother

Both mine used to be taken for boys and called "oh typical boisterous boy" etc. DD2 doesn't get it now that she has longer hair but dd1 still does all the time. People say strange things.

Not offended at all cryhavoc.

Was merely pointing out that getting a child's gender wrong may not be as amusing for the child as it is for the parent.

cat65 Not so much justifying to MN (who I would NEVER accuse of judginess) as to myself. Have been working very hard to lose weight for holiday but couldn't walk past delicious chippy smell...

Ah, Condensedmilkaddict, she's two. By the time she's old enough to care she will be allowed to grow her hair as long as she likes (always provided it DOES grow!).

Norkily Oh bless her!